Doesn't Remind Me
by tbka
Summary: AU, WiP: What would have happened if Severus Snape had choose a different path and proved is loyalty to the man who had trusted him when no one else did? ...Ch. 9 Now up!...
1. Tired of Waiting

**Doesn't Remind Me**

_**Summary: **AU, WiP: What would've happened if Severus Snape had choose a different path and proved is loyalty to the one who trusted him when no one else did?_

_**Category: **Angst/Drama._

_**Rating: **PG-13 to R. For safety, deals with violence and suicidal themes._

_**Notes: **This will be a WIP and I cannot guarantee regular updates because my life is not based on a regular schedule (unfortunately). I'm predicting that there will be many chapters but I also may not finish the story, depending on how I like the way it turns out. It will be an AU and it will deal with mature issues (such as suicide). So if you don't like that then don't read it, I'm warning you._

_Also, I am 15, I am a dancer, and this is my second fanfic (my first Harry Potter fanfic though) and my other fanfic was never really finished. Please, I ask you to excuse any grammatical errors, I'm trying, that's what counts, right? If you see anything you really can't stand please tell me (through a review or an e-mail)._

_Plus, I find Severus Snape extremely hard to write and keep him in character. I hope I get better at this as the story progresses. _

_**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter, if I did I'd be rich and not writing fanfics, now would I? Sue me if you wish but the only thing you'll get out of it is my pointe shoes because it's the only thing I've ever bought in my life. Anything recognizable is credited to J.K. Rowling anything unrecognizable can be credited to me, understood? Good. Now I'm going to shut-up so you can read the story!_

_**Note** The very beginning of this story was taken directly from The Half-Blood Prince, I do not mean to commit plagiarism but in order for this story to make complete sense it is the only way I could see of doing it. I am sorry if this angers anyone but I do not take credit for it. Like I said early, everything the is recognizable belongs to J.K. Rowling, not me. _

**Ch. 1 - Tired of Waiting**

"Draco, do it, or stand aside so one of us -" screeched the woman but at that precise moment the door to the ramparts burst open once more and there stood Snape, his wand clutched in his hand as his black eyes swept the scene, from Dumbledore slumped against the wall, to the four Death Eaters, including the enraged werewolf, and Malfoy.

"We've got a problem, Snape," said the lumpy Amycus, whose eyes and wand were fixed alike upon Dumbledore, "the boy doesn't seem able -"

But somebody else had spoken Snape's name, quite softly.

"Severus ..."

The sound frightened Harry beyond anything he had experienced all evening. For the first time, Dumbledore was pleading.

Snape said nothing, but walked forwards and pushed Malfoy roughly our of the way. The three Death Eaters fell back without a word. Even the werewolf seemed cowed.

Snape gazed for a moment at Dumbledore, and there was revulsion and hatred etched in the harsh lines of his face.

"Severus ... please ..."

Snape raised his wand and pointed it directly at Dumbledore.

"Leave, all of you except Malfoy. Go back to the Dark Lord. Destroy the Vanishing Cabinet, we cannot allow such a passage to be left intacked, it is too dangerous.

"But -" Amycus started.

"Do as I say! We can't afford an argument, unless you haven't noticed, we are running out of time!" Snape yelled, his eyes still locked with Dumbledore's. Then more quietly, he continued, "The boy deserves to do his first kill alone, un pressured. I'm sure you all remember your first kill and unless I am quite mistaken, I was the only one here who killed before I had come of age. So therefore, I am the only one capable of knowing what young Malfoy is dealing with. Leave us, we will finish."

"Snape," Alecto sneered, "this is foolish. How are we to trust you? The double-servant!"

"SILENCE!" Snape yelled, "I am in charge here! You listen to me! Or do you wish to be labeled traitors and face the wrath of the Dark Lord himself! Go!"

Harry watched, in is invisible prison, as the four Death Eaters reluctantly left. Taking one of the many secret passage ways to the Room of Requirement. The footsteps slowly faded and the four stood alone, silent, waiting, in the room.

Snape spun around and in a flash he muttered a spell and the door was opened, the Order of the Phoenix members rushed through the passage and froze when they saw Snape's wand pointed at them.

"Silence. Do not speak, we tread dangerous ground here. Accio Dumbledore's wand."

A second later Snape turned around, Dumbledore's wand in hand, and walked over to the old wizard. Handing him the wand, he smiled and whispered, "A double-servant no more. I'm no longer 'Tired of Waiting' as you so often say to me."

Harry found himself free and stumbled forward as his weight was no longer being held back by invisible walls. Quickly he removed his cloak and stared, shocked, at the scene before him.

"Harry, no," said Dumbledore faintly, "Put the Cloak back on, they may still come back. You must leave, find safety in my office. The rest of you must go too, back to your beds before your luck runs out."

But before a move can be made the door burst open and Harry just barely managed to conceal himself underneath the Invisibility Cloak.

"I knew it!" Finir Greyback yelled triumphantly, "You are a traitor!"

Snape spun around and grabbed Draco by the back of his cloak, "Get out of here, Dumbledore will protect you," he whispered into the child's ear, "I did **not **condemn myself to death just for you to die also." And with that he threw the youngest Malfoy to the back of the room and grabbed something out of his pocket. He threw it behind him and Dumbledore caught it, realized what it was, and put it on. Immediately the old wizard became invisible.

By that time the whole Order and the members of the D.A. present were around Snape and the other Death Eaters had returned.

I fight ensued and chaos consumed the room. Amidst everything going on Snape managed to pull Tonks aside, "When we go you must follow us to the Room of Requirement, destroy the Vanishing Cabinet, it is being used as a passage way."

"What do you mean by 'we'? Surely you are not going with them, you will be murdered!"

"It is the only way Tonks, it must be done. If I can do one thing right in my life, let it be this. If I am captured they will leave. Dumbledore must be seen to, he is gravely injured. Tell Madame Pomfrey to look in my 3rd notebook in the 2nd drawer on the right of my desk. The very last potion written down is the one needed to save Dumbledore."

"Severus I cannot allow this!"

"Promise me! This is not for me, nor for Dumbledore alone. This is for the survival of light, for everything YOU stand for! Dumbledore is needed in this war, perhaps more then any wizard has been needed in any war. You must see to him! I've known my time would come, let me face my destiny in peace. Promise me!"

"I promise Severus, I promise," Tonks whispered, almost in tears.

"Thank you." And with that the Potions Master was gone and before anyone knew what was happening the Death Eaters were retreating, knowing they were outnumbered.

The Order of the Phoenix and the D.A. members followd the fleeing Death Eaters and entered behind them into the Room of Requirement. Just in time to watch the last one disappear into the Vanishing Cabinet. A long silence followed, a silence in which Tonks walked up to the cabinet and pointed her wand at it.

"What are you doing?" Hermione asked, shredding the suffocating silence.

"I promised, I promised Snape. This is for him, for his sacrifices."

The Cabinet exploded into a million pieces.

"Where IS Snape?" Ron asked, clearly confused by the disappearance of his professor.

"They took him, he let them take him," Tonks said, tears streaming down her face, "He sacrificed his life for us. And none of us never really trusted him to begin with. Why? Why is it always the ones we never trust that end up sacrificing the most for everyone else? WHY!"

"Oh my God," Hermione muttered, "They took him! The Death Eaters! He'll be tortured! He'll be murdered! We have to save him!"

"We can't do anything Hermione," Ron whispered as the young wizard collapsed, crying into his shoulder, "We can't do anything ..."


	2. Prevent This Tragedy

**Doesn't Remind Me**

_**Summary: **AU, WiP: What would've happened if Severus Snape had choose a different path and proved is loyalty to the one who trusted him when no one else did?_

_**Category: **Angst/Drama._

_**Rating: **PG-13 to R. For safety, deals with violence and suicidal themes._

_**Notes: **It seems a reviewer has noticed the very problem I've been struggling with, the Unbreakable Vow that Snape made. I've been thinking long and hard and believe that I have found a way around it, you just have to keep reading until it is revealed because I am obviously not going to tell you right now..:) But I will say this, when it comes to that part in the story and you cannot find a way to believe my way around the Unbreakable Vow well then, you can stop reading. Remember, this is a AU story so things are not going to be the same and some things may be changed to fit my story. It is after all, my story, and I can do what I want. I could make Snape have a sex change operation if I wanted (don't worry, I won't, it's just an example). So there, I believe I have explained myself quite clearly._

_**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter, if I did I'd be rich and not writing fanfics, now would I? Sue me if you wish but the only thing you'll get out of it is my pointe shoes because it's the only thing I've ever bought in my life. Anything recognizable is credited to J.K. Rowling anything unrecognizable can be credited to me, understood? Good. Now I'm going to shut-up so you can read the story!_

**Ch. 2 - Prevent This Tragedy**

Harry was running down the empty corridors as fast as he could. Within minutes he was saying "toffee eclairs" to the gargoyle that guarded the spiral staircase leading to Dumbledore's office. The sounds of the fighting had faded long ago but Harry could still hear it in his head. Someone was dead, someone had been killed because he had been so naive as to ask his friends to guard the hallways. Yet again, one of his decisions had directly lead to the death of someone he had cared about, someone who he had known and loved.

The young boy took off his Invisibility Cloak and threw it angrily across the room. He started pacing, rubbing his temples as he felt the beginnings of a headache develop. All Harry wanted to do was scream and yell and throw things, to destroy everything around him. But he couldn't, not when he was still in so much danger. He had to wait, wait for what? He didn't know, he didn't know anything. And to Harry, not knowing was one of his greatest fears.

He had witness Dumbledore pleading. Why was that so frightening to him? Everyone pleads for their life, they'd be fools not too. But Dumbledore? This was the greatest wizard of all time, he shouldn't feel the need to plead for his life, he should make others plead for their lives!

Harry had been wrong, wrong about so many things. But his greatest mistake, his greatest mistrust, was Severus Snape. He had never trusted the professor, when in the end, it was that very professor that had saved Dumbledore from an almost certain death. It was the professor that had put his life on the line, who was most likely dead right now. Dumbledore had trusted Snape, why couldn't Harry?

Well, to be truthful, Professor Snape had never given him a reason to be trusted.

"But had he ever given you a reason to mistrust him?" Harry whispered aloud.

Exhausted, he plopped into the armchair that seemed much too comfortable for his liking. Burying his head in his hands the young boy with so much on his shoulders began to cry, for the first time in too many years.

After what seemed like hours, but could possible only be minutes, Harry regained control of his emotions and wiped the tears off of his face. Standing up, he began his pacing. It seemed to Harry that pacing had become one of his more favourite pass times. A realization that didn't sit well with him.

Just then the door burst open and a very frazzled looking Professor McGonagall strode briskly into the office.

"Come Harry, we must leave," she said, rather distractedly.

"But Professor McGonagall, what about the Death Eaters? And where is Dumbledore?"

"The Death Eaters are gone Harry, now come, we must go."

With that Minerva McGonagall turned around a walked quite quickly out of the office and Harry was forced to follow her if he wanted anymore answers.

Catching up with her in the corridor Harry asked, yet again, "Where is Dumbledore?"

"He is safe, for the moment. As a matter of fact, we are going to see him right now."

"We are?"

"I believe that is just what I said," snapped the professor.

Harry fell quiet and instead became content with studying the wonderfully patterned floor of Hogwarts. It was not until they walked through a wooden door did Harry realize where they were, the hospital wing. And in the back of the room there stood a small group of people, all from the Order. To the side, Madame Pomfrey and Nymphadora Tonks were leaning over a small table and reading a book of some sorts. And there, lying in a bed not far away, was Albus Dumbledore, looking paler then Harry had ever seen him.

"Is he?" Harry whispered fearfully.

"No, no, not all. He is just asleep. Though we fear he won't have long. But that is why you are here. You have to tell Madame Pomfrey what happened to Albus while you two were out and about," McGonagall's lapse in the use of Dumbledore's first name in front of a student showed just how distraught she really was.

Harry followed his professor across the room, which seemed longer then normal, and stood beside Dumbledore's bed, unnoticed to the others who had entered previously. Looking around he noticed that Dumbledore was not the only injured person. Bill Weasly, Neville Longbottom, and Professor Flitwick were all lying in a bed, with members of the D.A. around them. No one seemed to have noticed Harry's arrival, which Harry was very thankful for.

"Madame Pomfrey," McGonagall said in a voice rather high pitched and forced, "Harry is here now, maybe he will be able to help."

"I doubt it!" Pomfrey yelled rather fustrated, "That Snape! He could've written just a tad bit neater! You know, make it readable to anyone but himself! Why does he tell me to read a potion that will save Dumbledore if he knows I won't be able to read his writing!"

Pomfrey's outburst gather the attention of the others and before he knew it Hermoine was around Harry in a rather painful hug.

"Oh Harry! Are you all right? You're not injured are you?" Hermoine squeaked out between her tears.

"No, I'm fine Hermione, really. How is everyone else?"

"Bill's been bitten Harry! You can't even recognize him!"

"Bitten, by who?"

"Greyback, but it wasn't at the full moon so we don't think he'll be a true werewolf -"

"He just might have some wolfish characteristics from now on," Lupin interrupted, "Glad to see you escaped unharmed."

"What about the others, everyone else?"

"Neville and Professor Flitwick are both hurt," Ginny answered, "but Madame Pomfrey says they'll be all right. And a Death Eater's dead, he got hit by a Killing Curse that a huge blonde Death Eater was firing off everywhere - Harry, if we hadn't had your Felix potion, I think we'd all have been killed, but everything seemed to just miss us -"

"That's enough Ginny," McGonagall stated, "Now Harry, what happened to Dumbledore?"

"He drank this, this potion thing," Harry stuttered out, not wanting to remember what the potion had done to the Headmaster.

"This potion thing? Is that all you can remember?"

"Well, it was guarding this object, locket thing, that Dumbledore wanted. It was this invisible barrier, Dumbledore said the only way to get to the locket was to scoop the barrier up in a cup and drink it. It worked but it seemed to make Dumbledore forget what he was doing, and it seemed very painful. He needed water after."

"Is that it Harry?"

"Well, yes, that's all I can remember."

"Well Pomfrey, does that help?"

Pomfrey looked up from trying to decipher Snape's writing and addressed Minerva, "No, it doesn't tell me anything. Do you know how fustrating this is? Apparently this is the potion that will save Dumbledore's life and I cannot read it! I CAN'T READ IT!"

"Pomfrey calm down," McGonagall soothed, walking to the witches side, "I'm sure someone here can read Severus' writing."

"Why can't you just get Snape to read it?" Harry asked, everyone stared at him.

"Snape's gone!" Hermione burst out, "He let himself get taken by the Death Eaters so that we could destroy the Vanishing Cabinet!"

"But if the Death Eaters have him, if He has Snape -"

"He'll die a very painful and undeserved death," Luna finished, "We know Harry, we know. He's been labeled a traitor by the Death Eaters, he won't live long and he won't wish to live long."

"But, but -"

"There's nothing we can do Harry," Lupin said, "Severus is smart, Severus is resilient, he may yet make it out alive. We have to hope, it's all we can do."

"Madame Pomfrey."

"Yes Luna."

"Can I see that book, I just want to see if I can read it."

"What makes you think you can read it?" Pomfrey snapped.

"Well, it's just that I have very messy writing myself, so maybe I am more use to reading it."

"Oh fine, here," Pomfrey handed the book to the young witch.

After a few tense moments Luna looked up from her reading and stated, very quietly, "I can read it."


	3. Wishful Thinking

**Doesn't Remind Me**

_**Summary: **AU, WiP: What would've happened if Severus Snape had choose a different path and proved is loyalty to the one who trusted him when no one else did?_

_**Category: **Angst/Drama._

_**Rating: **PG-13 to R. For safety, deals with violence and suicidal themes._

_**Notes: **Okay, so I sounded bitchy in my last note. I'm sorry, I never meant to sound like that. I guess it's hard to tell emotions over the internet eh? So to that reviewer, I wasn't trying to like attack you or anything, I was just explaining myself. So I'm gonna shut-up now before I start being bitchy again._

_**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter, if I did I'd be rich and not writing fanfics, now would I? Sue me if you wish but the only thing you'll get out of it is my pointe shoes because it's the only thing I've ever bought in my life. Anything recognizable is credited to J.K. Rowling anything unrecognizable can be credited to me, understood? Good. Now I'm going to shut-up so you can read the story!_

**Ch. 3 - Wishful Thinking**

Luna was quickly swept away from the others and was given the task of re-writing Severus Snape's potion. With very clear instructions to make sure everything was exactly the same as it was originally written.

Everyone else was sent either to their beds or to do some menial task. Except for Ron and Ginny Weasly, who were instructed to stay with Bill and await their parents arrival.

Harry and Hermione walked silently down the corridors that were slowly filling up with curious students. Demelza Robins, who Harry played Quidditch with, was pushed in front of the two friends quite reluctantly.

"Harry...the Dark Mark. Is, is someone," she gulped, "dead?"

"No, it was a trick, that's all. Don't worry about it," Hermione quickly answered, pushing her way through the building crowd and dragging Harry with her.

"But, does that mean there's Death Eaters here!" Katie Bell said, rather loudly.

"NO!" Hermione yelled, spinning around to face the crowd, "I mean, not anymore more. There were, but, but it's been taken care of. They're gone and the school is quite safe again. Their means of getting in here was destroyed so, as a Prefect, I can only suggest that you all return to your dormitories and go back to sleep. Because that is what Harry and I will be doing!"

And with that Hermione stomped away, quite irritated, with Harry following behind. It wasn't long before they were saying the Gryffindor password to the Fat Lady. They plopped themselves down in two chairs in the corner of the common room and just stared at each other.

"How many Death Eaters were there?" Harry whispered, leaning closer towards Hermoine to avoid being over-heard.

"I don't know, a good number, but quite a few got captured."

"They did? But where are they now?"

"The Ministry came and got them. They'll be locked in Azkaban for sure, join the other Death Eaters already there. It's where they deserve to be."

"And Draco? What happened to him? Did the Ministry take him too?"

"No, but I think they should've. Professor McGonagall took him somewhere, probably to hide him. They've gone to get his mother too, some of the Order. Apparently Voldemort said he'd killed Draco and his mother if Dumbledore wasn't killed."

"Yah, that's what Draco told Dumbledore. That's when Dumbledore promised to hide Draco and his mom, and even Lucius, when he gets out of Azkaban."

"Lucius? I doubt Lucius will be getting out of Azkaban anytime soon. But truthfully, I do feel some sympathy from Draco. You can't really blame him for becoming a Death Eater, he was probably forced into it. You know, with Lucius being in Azkaban and all. And I don't think he ever really wanted to become one, because if he did then he would've killed Dumbledore, he very easily could've, couldn't he?

"Yah, I thought he was going to. But I guess he's not the tough guy he always thought he was. But," Harry looked around to make sure no one was listening, "why did the Death Eaters all leave? They came to kill Dumbledore, they wouldn't just leave and go back to Voldemort until Dumbledore was killed. Won't they all be punished for failing, especially when they were so close?"

"I don't know Harry," Hermione replied, running her hands through her hair in frustration, "I really don't know. It seems to go against everything I know about the Death Eaters. The only wizard Voldemort fears is Dumbledore and they were so close to killing him that they wouldn't just leave without a good reason. I mean, sure they have Snape, but still, they have to face Voldemort's wrath now. I don't think having Snape is going to make-up for what they failed to do. But still, it doesn't make sense. I don't think we out-numbered them. At least, not until those four left with Snape, then we outnumbered the others. It just, it just doesn't make sense!"

"Well maybe when Snape gets back he can tell us."

"Snape, get back?" Hermione laughed, "Are you serious Harry? Did you get hit in the head during the fight or what? You can't honestly believe that Snape is going to live. He's a traitor to Voldemort and everyone knows he was a spy. He spied on Dumbledore for Voldermort and he spied on Voldemort for Dumbledore. And because of recent events I'm going to conclude that he did more spying for Dumbledore than he did for Voldemort, and Voldemort is **not** going to like that. Snape won't live. If Snape lives and somehow makes it back here then, then I don't know what I'll do. It's impossible! Even if he got away he'd be so badly injured he'd probably die trying to get here."

"You know, he could survive! This is Snape we're talking about. The wizard who managed to lie to Voldemort and get away with it for years!"

"Stop feeling guilty Harry! He won't live! He sacrificed himself to save Dumbledore and there is nothing anyone can do. Unless you know where Voldemort is and want to go marching in there demanding that He release Snape! Because if you want to do that then go right on ahead, I won't stop you but I won't help you!"

"We can't just leave him!"

"But we have to! There's nothing we can," Hermione sighed, "I know you feel guilty for never trusting him, I do too! But we can't change what we did and what's happened. Right now we should be more worried about Dumbledore, not Snape, because at least we might be able to help Dumbledore!"

Harry rubbed his temples and willed his pounding headache to go away, "It just doesn't make sense, none of it. Everything's gone wrong today."

"Let's just go to bed Harry. A good night's sleep might help."

"Yah, you're probably right. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Harry and Hermione left, going to their separate staircases. Both did not sleep but instead lay quietly in their beds as the other students filtered back from the corridors whispering about the troubling events of the past few hours.

The students of Hogwarts awoke the next day to the sounds of their Head of Houses waking them up and telling them all too pack their trunks and bring them down to the common rooms. Harry was one of the last Gryffindor students to reach the common room, and there he found Hermione in a hushed conversation with Ron and Ginny. Upon reaching the three he was just about to ask them what they were talking about when Professor McGonagall cleared her throat, causing everyone to fall silent and look towards her.

"Because of recent events," McGonagall started, reading from a roll of parchment, "all students have been asked to pack their trunks and go, orderly, to the Great Hall. Following the instructions of their Head of House. This is purely a precautionary measures because it is not believed that the school is in any immediate danger. At the Great Hall the students will be asked to sit at their tables and remain quiet, there they will be briefed on what has happened and what is going to take place. Please, do not cause any distruptions. Now, let's go. Follow me students."

With that Professor McGonagall turned and walked out of the portrait hole, the Gryffindor students following closely behind. Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny walked amongst the other students, not daring to speak for they did not want to be the ones to break the eerie silence that filled the halls. Once they reached the Great Hall the students took their seats at their tables and waited for some teacher to tell them what was going on.

Harry nudged Ron and nodded his head towards the Slytherin table, "Looks like Professor Slughorn has taken over the Head of House duties for Slytherin."

"Wow," Ron said, slightly shocked, "Why him?"

"He told me before that he was once Head of Slytherin," Harry replied, lowering his voice, "Tell Hermione, I don't think she's noticed yet."

Ron nodded and Harry watched has his best friend held a whispered conversation with Hermione. A conversation that was broken up by the familiar sound of Professor McGonagall clearing her throat.

"As you all must know by now," McGonagall began, "some events occurred last night that I did not think would ever happen here, in Hogwarts. First of all, I must ensure you all that no one died last night, despite the fact that the Dark Mark was cast above the school. Also, the school's magical protection has been hightened even more and no student is allowed to leave the Great Hall until further notice. If, for some reason, you find that you must leave the Great Hall please talk to the Head of your House. If you wish to go to the bathroom you must first tell your Head of House, who will then proceed to escort you to the bathroom. Also, the Room of Requirement, which some students know about and some do not, will no longer be available for your use. I would suggest that you do not attempt to enter the room because it is currently being heavily guarded. All classes have been cancelled until further notice."

At this point, there was a great cheer from the students.

"But please keep in mind that this is not an excuse to fall behind in your homework. All assigned work is expected to be handed in when classes resume," McGonagall smiled at the students sudden change in mood, "And, last but not least, Professor Dumbledore will be back within in the week, he finds himself incapable of addressing the school right now, as you all surely know by now."

Professor McGonagall looked directly at Harry, smiled, and nodded a yes to Harry's unanswered question. Before he knew it a smile grew on his face and Harry looked over at Luna and caught her eye. She just smiled and nodded and Harry worded a simple "thanks" to her and turned to share the great news with his three friends.

Dumbledore was going to be all right.


	4. Après

**Doesn't Remind Me**

_**Summary: **AU, WiP: What would've happened if Severus Snape had choose a different path and proved is loyalty to the one who trusted him when no one else did?_

_**Category: **Angst/Drama._

_**Rating: **PG-13 to R. For safety, deals with violence and suicidal themes._

_**Notes: **To Dim, I fixed the spelling of Hermione. I can't believe I was spelling it wrong the whole time, especially since I was using the book to check that other things were correct! LoL. I noticed when I was writing the last chapter that I was writing Voldemort "Volde**r**mort" but luckily I caught it before hand! If anyone is wondering, the title "**Après" **means "**Afterwards."**_

**I just want to say that I really appreciate all the reviews I've gotten, it's inspired me to keep writing at such a regular pace (which is amazing for me, but I'm guessing the fact that I have no school due to the BCTF Union being on strike is helping..celebrates).**

_**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter, if I did I'd be rich and not writing fanfics, now would I? Sue me if you wish but the only thing you'll get out of it is my pointe shoes because it's the only thing I've ever bought in my life. Anything recognizable is credited to J.K. Rowling anything unrecognizable can be credited to me, understood? Good. Now I'm going to shut-up so you can read the story!_

**Ch. 4 - Après**

9 days later the students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry found themselves in the same situation they had been in the day after the Death Eater attacks, isolated in the Great Hall. Most students took to filling the time with the same conversations about the same thing, "What exactly did happen that night?" The only ones who truly knew were the ones who had been there, and those particular students had been questioned mercilessly. And all of them had taken the route of less talk, saying only what was needed to be said so that they could be left alone. As a result, rumours were everywhere. And it was not the fact that Dumbledore had almost died, or that Draco Malfoy was now a known Death Eater, or even that Death Eaters themselves had managed to find their way into the school, that was the most debated topic. It was Severus Snape and the new found knowledge that he had been the one to save Dumbledore and the one to sacrifice himself for the safety of the school. Professor Snape, the one teacher who seemed to distaste the students the most, was the one to save countless numbers of them. It was an intriguing thought for the young wizard and witches, a thought that they could not seem to let go of. Every student had their own idea of where Snape was and whether he had the ability to escape his captors.

But Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and Luna had taken to sitting in their own small group and discussing anything that had nothing to do with that night 9 days earlier. They had even resorted to doing their homework has a group in order to pass the time.

Security in the Great Hall had been lessened, the 4th years and younger still had to be escorted by the Head of House to the bathroom but the 5th years and older were now allowed to go to the bathroom escorted only be a Prefect (but they still had to ask the Head of House for permission). The result was that many students believed that they would be allowed to return to their dormitories soon. Which caused a frenzy of homework finishing for those students who had taken full advantage of having no classes and had neglected all schoolwork.

Each day was as boring as the previous day, and each day as repetitive as the previous. But on that 9th day, early in the afternoon, Neville Longbottom entered the Great Hall, having just been released from the hospital, to a loud applause and joyous cheers. Which caused the shy boy to turn red in the face from embarrassment and quickly join his 5 friends.

The dinner that night started out as all other dinners. Except for one small detail, Professor McGonagall was no where in sight. This, undoubtedly, was the center of conversation for all students. But their questions were soon answered as the door to the Great Hall opened and in walked Professor McGonagall, helping a very tired, but happy, looking Headmaster walk slowly through the Hall and to his rightful seat at the Head Table. The students sat in shock, they had not expected this.

It was Harry who started clapping first, with the rest of the school, students and teachers alike, following. Dumbledore looked over at Harry as he passed by and smiled, with that familiar twinkle in his eye. Harry knew right then and there, that Dumbledore might still be injured, might still be sick and tired, but it was still the same old Dumbledore. And that, was the most uplifting thing that had happened to Harry during the whole year.

Perhaps it took a little long for Dumbledore to reach his seat, but no one was complaining. With this recent event most students believed that they would be returning to their dormitories that night. And they were not disappointed.

Professor McGonagall sat down in her seat beside the Headmaster's chair while Dumbledore remained standing and as a result, the Great Hall went completely quiet.

"It brings me great pleasure," Dumbledore began with a smile, "to announce that all students will be allowed to return to their dormitories tonight. I have, however, decided that no students shall be allowed to leave Hogwarts grounds for any reason. This means that all Hogsmeade visits have been cancelled. Please note that any student attempting to leave Hogwarts grounds will not only be unable to due to new defenses that have been put in place, but they will also receive severe punishments. Also, I would like to say," Dumbledore's expression quickly became somber, "due to unfortunate circumstances all Defense Against The Dark Arts classes have been cancelled. All students are to stay in their dormitories instead of going to their Dark Arts classes. All students caught in the halls during class time will be punished. These are not safe times. And though Hogwarts is protected I still recommend that you take all precautions during the rest of this year. I do not wish a repeat of the events that occurred 9 days ago. If any of you think a fellow student is acting in a strange way I ask that you bring the matter to your Head of House, do not confront the student. I do not wish to have a death within Hogwarts and I do not think any of you would wish such a thing," Dumbledore smiled at the students, "Now, with all that depressing news out of the way I will leave you to finish your meal. You have permission to return to your dormitories after the meal, you will find that your bags have been returned with all your schoolwork placed neatly on your beds. For you will need to complete it since classes will resume bright and early tomorrow morning. I hope you have all taken this time off to catch up on any courses in which you might have fallen behind in."

And with that Dumbledore gingerly sat down and the students erupted into conversation.

"Tomorrow? School starts tomorrow!" Ron shook his head in disbelief, "On a Thursday too. Who resumes school on a bloody Thursday!"

"Dumbledore does," Hermione said with a laugh, "Good thing I got you two do some of your homework! You only have about 3 days worth of homework to do instead of 6."

"Oh thanks Hermione," Harry muttered sarcastically.

The rest of the dinner consisted of conversations about the unfairness of courses resuming the next day and complaining about all the homework that had to be finished in one night. After dinner the students happily returned to their dormitories, where they continued to complain about homework and the injustice of having school the next day.

"You know," Hermione told Harry and Ron, "you would be able to finish a lot more homework if you actually worked on it instead of complaining about having to do it."

Ron just scowled at Hermione while Harry ignored her, quite intent on completing a potions assignment he was finding quite difficult to do without the Half-Blood Prince's book to help him.

"I wonder if I can use Bill getting injured as an excuse for not doing my homework," Ron thought out-loud.

"With 9 days off I highly doubt it Ron," Hermione replied in her lecturing tone, "I told you that you'd have to do it sooner or later. But do you ever listen to me? No."

Ron stared at Hermione, she had even completed the lecture with a mocking smile and raised eyebrows, "Well I doubt your done all your homework," he spat back.

"As a matter of fact Ron, I am done. And I'm going to leave you two to finish your homework while I go to bed. Goodnight."

And with that Ron just watched Hermione leave, "Well, looks like she's back to normal," he muttered. Harry looked up and just shrugged.

After about and hour Harry and Ron decided to just call it quits and go to bed. Hoping that they were not the only students who had failed to complete their homework.

The following days went by as routinely as days can go by. Both Harry and Ron were relieved to find out that they were not the only students who failed to complete their homework. And they were not the only students who found the extra free block, where they would normally be in Defense Against The Dark Arts, filled with not joyous freedom but homework, homework, and more homework. Having 9 days off might of been good before but now it was a disaster. All the teachers had taken to assigning extra homework to make up for the class time missed.

It was 8 days after the return of school when Harry, Ron and Hermione had decided to go for a walk outside. Seeing as it was a Saturday Harry had been hoping to spend some time alone with Ginny but he could not. Ginny was preparing for her OWLs and as a result was unable to be persuaded to leave her studies. Much to Harry disappointment.

The three friends walked around the very edge of the Hogwarts grounds, making sure not to pass the invisible barrier that would alert the Headmaster.

"Hermione, if the barrier is invisible how do you know where it is?" Ron asked.

"It's pretty simple, the barrier is marked by nature. At some parts the barrier follows the curve of the lake while at other parts it follows the edge of a cliff, or the trees that outline the Forbidden Forest. Besides, you can't go through it, it's like an invisible wall."

"But isn't there already a wall around the whole grounds?" Harry questioned.

"Well yes, but that's further out. A wall isn't going to stop a lot. I suspect Dumbledore doesn't want the students going that far out of the grounds because if we were allowed to go as far out as the wall we would be able to go into the Forbidden Forest, and that wouldn't be safe," Hermione replied, as if this information was the most obvious information in the world.

"How does she remember all this stuff, and where does she get it all from?" Ron muttered to Harry.

"For you information," Hermione stated, her voice rising slightly, "in the first class back after the Death Eaters incident we all got a pamphlet describing the barrier and what to we should do if we find ourselves in danger while we're on the grounds. I read it, obviously you two did not."

By this time the three friends had managed to walk around the grounds and were now passing by the Forbidden Forest. They were so close that the trees shadows blocked out the sun and cast eerie shapes across the ground. Harry was just about to respond when there was a loud thud from within the forest. The three friends spun around and froze, facing the Forbidden Forest.

"What was that?" Hermione asked, fear colouring her voice.

"It sounded like someone, or something, fell," Harry answered, sounding and feeling more calmer then he thought he should be.

"We, we should go back, don't you think Harry?" Ron stammered.

"Yah Harry, we should go back. Tell Dumbledore," Hermione quickly added.

"No," Harry replied. When he saw the questioning faces of his two friends he quickly added, "It might be someone who needs our help."

"Don't tell me you think it's Snape," Hermione said, shaking her head, "It's impossible, it's been too long."

"It could be," Harry muttered, trying to see through the thick shadows of the forest.

"Harry, you can't be serious," Hermione said, trying to see through the shadows herself.

"Hello!" Harry yelled into the forest, not wanting to walk any further for fear of hitting the invisible barrier.

"What do you think you're doing!" Ron yelled back, "Trying to get us killed!"

"Whoever, or whatever, it is won't be able to make it through the barrier anyway. I just want to see it," Harry replied calmly.

Hermione opened her mouth to talk but was cut off by a rustling sound from the bushes. Followed by the sounds of someone, or something, trying to make it's way through the thick underbrush of the forest.

Hermione screamed as the thing came into view.

_**Note** Oh.My.God. This chapter was incredible hard to write for me. I hit a major writer's block. I know what I wanted to say but I couldn't quite write it down like I wanted too. I don't quite like how it turned out because I don't like when I have to write a chapter with more explaining then action in it. I prefer writing dialogue. But this chapter needed to be written. I've read it over and to me it seems like someone else wrote it, it doesn't feel like my style of writing. I have this feeling that the characters are not quite out of character, like I just missed the mark this time. But oh well. I promise there will be answers in the following chapter, just stick with it okay? (Including what happen with Snape, is he alive or dead? Only I know! MWAHAHAHA!) _

_So I'm sorry if it isn't quite up to standards. My next chapter will be better, I promise!_


	5. Back To Hell

**Doesn't Remind Me**

_**Summary: **AU, WiP: What would've happened if Severus Snape had choose a different path and proved is loyalty to the one who trusted him when no one else did?_

_**Category: **Angst/Drama._

_**Rating: **PG-13 to R. For safety, deals with violence and suicidal themes._

_**Notes: **Holy crap, long chapter! Man this was tiring to write. But I'm quite happy with how it turned out (not like the last chapter). I hope you like it too! I want to thank all my reviewers again! You guys are the best! I was not expecting so many people to actually like my story. :) So thanks again, I really appreciate the reviews!_

_**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter, if I did I'd be rich and not writing fanfics, now would I? Sue me if you wish but the only thing you'll get out of it is my pointe shoes because it's the only thing I've ever bought in my life. Anything recognizable is credited to J.K. Rowling anything unrecognizable can be credited to me, understood? Good. Now I'm going to shut-up so you can read the story!_

**Ch. 5 - Back To Hell**

Harry stared, open-mouthed and in complete shock, at who had just managed to drag himself out from the underbrush.

"Snape?" Ron whispered in complete shock.

"Oh my God," Hermione muttered, bringing her hand to her mouth in shock. A few tears managed to trickle out of her eyes.

The unrecognizable man fell to his knees, breathing in short, haggard breaths. His clothes were tattered and ripped and blood soaked every piece of fabric that was still on the man. The Dark Mark had been neatly cut out of his left forearm. The cut was so deep that Harry swore you could catch glimpses of the bone through the blood. The rest of his left arm was charred, completely black and withered, much like Dumbledore's right hand was. But only this reached all the way up the man's left arm, over his shoulder, and had started to destroy the skin on his chest. The man was shaking uncontrollable, you could tell he was in unbearable pain. The only way you could recognize the man was from his hair. The black, greasy hair that had been the focus of many jokes. The black hair that looked like someone had just attempted a red dye job that didn't work to well. A red dye job in which blood was the main source of dye.

Hermione looked away, she couldn't stand to see the sight before her, it was too grotesque.

Snape looked up and Harry stared into the Professor's face, it looked as if someone had tried to gouge his eyes out. Caked blood covered his face and though Snape was looking at Harry, Harry doubted that the man saw him. It was impossible to tell what injuries Snape had, the blood and the shadows of the forest prevented Harry from being able to see the man fully.

So Harry did the first thing that entered his mind, he ran towards the Professor. But he hit the invisible barrier just feet from where Snape was and was unable to move any closer. Cursing as loudly as he could Harry turned around to face his two friends. He was met with two equal looks of shock.

"It hurts to look at him," Ron whispered, barely audible, "Just to look at him."

"Hermione!" Yelled Parvati Patil as she ran across the grounds to where the three friends were standing. Upon reaching Hermione, Parvati hugged her friend and let Hermione cry into her shoulders, "What happened?"

"This," Harry simply stated, moving away from the invisible barrier so that Parvati could get a clear view of Severus Snape.

"Oh my God! Who is that!" Parvati burst out.

"That, that is Professor Snape," Harry answered sadly, "And there's nothing we can do but stand here and watch him die because we can't get through the bloody invisible barrier to help him!"

Harry looked back at his Defense Against The Dark Arts Teacher and saw that the man had dropped his head and his hair covered his face. He was still shaking but now he had taken his left arm and used it to hug is stomach, where Harry saw that more blood was pouring out, actually pouring out. You could still hear his short gasps for breath. Gasps that were getting weaker and weaker.

Ron started to walk slowly backwards and Harry turned his head to look at him questioningly.

"I, I'll go get a teacher," Ron stuttered, turning and sprinting across the grounds to the castle.

Harry turned around and placed his hands on the invisible barrier. He leaned as close as he could and said, quite loudly, "Professor Snape, can you hear me?"

"Yes," Snape gasped out.

"Well, that's good," Harry continued, "Don't worry, Ron's gone to get help. I'd help you myself but I can't get through this damn invisible barrier Dumbledore put up to protect the students."

Harry sat down on the grass and Hermione kneel down beside him while Parvati stood standing, still in shock.

"Hermione's here too," Harry said, trying to keep his Professor distracted, "You just have to hang on for a little while longer, until Dumbledore gets here."

"No," Snape muttered, "I can't...no more...I, sorry, didn't mean...please, forgive, accident...master...no, sorry...sorry," his voice trailed off.

Harry looked at Hermione, silently asking for answers.

"Maybe, maybe he's reliving it. Maybe Voldemort did something to his mind, made it so he can't forget." Hermione whispered with a shrug.

Harry turned back and address Snape, "Professor, you're not there anymore. Your here, in Hogwarts, you're safe."

"Can't...breathe, die...just kill...murderer, mistake," Snape shuddered and started coughing and heaving. Blood came out of his mouth.

Hermione collapsed into Harry's arms and started crying. Harry just took to staring at the puddle of blood underneath Snape, a puddle that was steadily getting bigger and bigger. He tried to block out his Professor's muttering and gasps of pain. More then once Snape's breathing hitched and stopped for a few seconds, only to continue again.

"Everyone clear!" Professor McGonagall yelled.

Harry twisted around and Hermione lifted her head up and they both saw, for the first time, the crowd that had gathered around them. Professor McGonagall managed to make a pathway through the crowd and Harry saw that Dumbledore and Madame Pomfrey were right behind McGonagall. Ron was there too, and he quickly moved to the front and pulled Hermione up and moved her to the side. Harry quickly got up himself and locked eyes with Dumbledore, who had yet to see Snape.

"Harry," Hermione whispered. Harry looked over at her and quickly moved to the side, allowing Professor McGonagall, the Headmaster, and Madame Pomfrey to see the shocking sight before them.

McGonagall gasped, Pomfrey let out a small whimper, and Dumbledore, Dumbledore stood unmoving. It seemed, for just a split second, that grief had overwhelmed the old wizard and frozen him to the spot. But the Headmaster regained his composure quickly and moved forward, muttering incantations under his breath. He put his hand on the invisible barrier and pushed on it, it didn't move. But Dumbledore continued to push on it and finally, after what seemed like hours, his hand went through the invisible wall.

Dumbledore quickly covered the distance from the barrier to where Snape was and kneeled on the hard ground, made soft by the blood that had collected on it.

"Severus," Dumbledore whispered. To Harry his voice sounded distraught, strained, like the Headmaster was close to tears.

"Severus," Dumbledore whispered again, putting is left hand gently on the man's right shoulder.

Snape jerked away, "NO!" He screamed, "No more, please...just kill me, can't...can't do this. Sorry, master...mercy, please."

Dumbledore quickly removed his hand from Snape's shoulder, "Severus, it is me, Albus. You are here, at Hogwarts, you are safe. You do not have to fear. Voldemort is not here, he cannot hurt you anymore."

Snape looked up and shook his head, causing his hair to part in the middle and create a sort of frame around the man's bloody face. Harry heard the people behind him gasp, this was their first time seeing the destroyed face of their professor.

"Albus?" Snape questioned, his voice hoarse and dry. It looked, to Harry, as if Snape had blinked a couple times, as if trying to see, but Harry couldn't be sure.

"Yes Snape, I'm Albus. Now we must get you up and to the hospital wing. Sitting out here in the cold is not helping you."

Dumbledore wrapped his left arm underneath Snape's right arm and pulled the man up. Harry notice that the former Potions Professor was putting very little weight on his right leg. With the help of Dumbledore the two managed to make their way back across the invisible barrier.

"Madame Pomfrey, if you will," Dumbledore stated loudly. Effectively snapping Pomfrey out of her trance.

"What?" Pomfrey questioned, slightly confused. But once she noticed Snape she seemed to understand and with a flick of her wand a small bed appeared, floating in the air.

"Now Severus," Dumbledore whispered, "Just lay down on this bed." The Headmaster helped is Professor on to the bed, "That's right. Now, I have to replace the defenses around the school but Madame Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall are going to take you up to the hospital wing and I will come see you in a bit."

Dumbledore nodded to Pomfrey and McGonagall, who started walking towards the school, the floating bed following close behind. Harry watched as his Head of House started whispering to his Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher, she even took his hand and held it.

"Now, will all of you please return to the castle. I believe it is close to dinner time, is it not?" Dumbledore stated, smiling warmly at the distraught students.

The large group that had gathered turned around and started walking slowly back to the castle.

"Except for," Dumbledore pointed at Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Parvati, "you four. Please, stay with me for a moment."

The four stopped walking and turned back around to watch the Headmaster who had brought out his wand and pointed it at the invisible barrier. After a few minutes of muttering under his breath Dumbledore turned around and smiled at the four students.

"Come, I think there is need of a little walking and talking," Dumbledore calmly stated.

"Sir, your robes. They're a little, um, dirty," Hermione stammered.

Dumbledore looked at his clothes and his smile faded, "Yes, yes they are. Thank you Hermione. Wouldn't want to walk through Hogwarts like this now would I?" And with a flick of his wand the blood that had soaked the Headmaster's clothes disappeared.

"Now," Dumbledore began as he started walking towards the castle with the four students following, "I gather from Ron that you four were there when Professor Snape arrived?"

"I wasn't," Parvati whispered, "I came after, when Hermione screamed, but, but before everyone else."

"I see, but the rest of you were there, correct?"

"Yes," Harry replied.

"And may I ask how you found Professor Snape?"

"Well, we were just walking along, talking, and we heard a noise from the Forest, like a thud -"

"It sounded like someone fell Professor," Ron interrupted Harry and Harry nodded.

"Then there was silence, I called out "Hello" and then he kind of pushed his way through the underbrush. Then fell when he made it out of the forest and into the clearing."

Dumbledore nodded but made no verbal response.

"Sir, do you think Professor Snape Apparated here?" Hermione asked.

"Well, it seems to be the only logical explanation, doesn't it? It's really quite remarkable that he managed Apparition in such condition. I would have thought that he'd be rendered incapable of performing magic, but I thought wrong. Seems Professor Snape is more resilient than anyone gave him credit for. But I daresay that he had some help."

"Do you mean that you never thought Snape would live?" Harry questioned.

"Professor Snape," Dumbledore corrected absent mindlessly, "And that's correct. I feared that Professor Snape had been the first casualty of Hogwarts staff in this war, and may yet be."

"So, he may not live? Even with your to help?" Fear coloured Hermione's voice.

"I am many things Hermione, but a miracle worker is not one," Dumbledore's voice seemed weighted with grief, "Unfortunately, both Professor Snape and I knew it was only a matter of time before he would be discovered as a spy."

The four students lapsed into silence as they followed their Headmaster to the castle.

Upon reaching the great oak doors Dumbledore stated simply, "Now here we must part paths. I believe it is close to dinner time and I hope that you four will grace the Great Hall with your presence." And with a small smile Dumbledore watched the four students walk down the corridor leading to the Great Hall.

Dumbledore walked slowly down one of the nearly empty corridors, making his way to the hospital wing. The Headmaster was deep in thought and almost walked into the hospital wing door. Instead he caught himself just in time, and with a great sigh he cleared his mind and opened the wooden door. He was greeted by the familiar smell of potions and herbs and the sight of the hundreds of beds with stark white sheets. Dumbledore realized, for the first time, that he didn't really like hospitals and that they were, in fact, probably his most hated place to visit. It always reminded the old wizard of times passed by, times were he sat by beds, identical to the ones that line the walls in front of him, and watched as great friends, and not-so-great-friends, died before him.

Today, he was hoping that he would not have to watch yet another of his friends die before him.

"Dumbledore?" Madame Pomfrey questioned, poking her head from behind a white sheet used to hide the occupants of the bed from others who found themselves in the unlucky position of occupying another hospital bed.

With a sigh that spoke of someone who was about to embark on something that they did not wish to embark on, Dumbledore smiled softly and started the long walk to the opposite side of the room.

"He has been asking for you," Minerva McGonagall sighed, "Pomfrey said he shouldn't go to sleep, he may not wake up if he does."

Dumbledore nodded, "You should go to the Great Hall, the students will start to ask questions if both of us are missing from the evening meal."

McGonagall sighed again and looked directly into the Headmaster's eyes, "If you need anything Albus, anything at all, you just ask me." And with that she took one last look at her fellow, injured professor and left quietly.

"He's doing quite well Headmaster," Pomfrey said, setting down a small tray filled with potions and some food, "I managed to get most of his pain under control and his concentration is better then it was earlier. He's regained some of the eyesight in his right eye, but I fear he'll be permanently blind in his left eye. He is, of course, quite tired but I do not wish for him to sleep just yet. At least, not until you speak to him." And with that Pomfrey smiled and left. Dumbledore knew that she didn't expect Snape to live but that she had merely numbed the pain so that the professor would die as peacefully as they could hope for.

Dumbledore conjured up a chair beside the bed, sat down, and took Severus' right hand in his own.

"Severus, what is the last thing you can remember?"

Snape turned his head to look at his Headmaster. His face had been cleared of the blood but there were many cuts around his eyes and his left eye was foggy, stared at nothing in particular, and looked more grey than black, while his right eye was focused on Dumbledore and was it's usual black colour, "Besides Voldemort torturing me?"

Surprise flickered across Dumbledore's face.

"He is no longer my Lord," Severus spat, "I no longer fear his name."

Dumbledore nodded, "Severus, your memory?"

"The last thing I remember," Snape closed his eyes in thought and weariness, "The Great Hall, the Sorting Ceremonies," he whispered, "How did I get from the Great Hall to Voldemort? And when did Voldemort regain power?" Severus Snape opened his eyes and looked directly at Albus Dumbledore, pleading for answers to the thousands of questions he had, "What did I do? How was I found out? When did I even become a spy again?"

Dumbledore sighed, "What year is Harry Potter starting?"

"What does that have to do with anything!" Snape spat, his voice more forceful then before, "That is completely irrelevant!"

"Please, just answer the question."

"His second. He's starting his second year," Snape growled, clearly annoyed at this unexpected question.

"Severus," Dumbledore began, grief clearly visble in his voice and tears threatening to escape his eyes, "Harry Potter is just about to finish his sixth year."


	6. Five Years Gone

**Doesn't Remind Me**

_**Summary: **AU, WiP: What would've happened if Severus Snape had choose a different path and proved is loyalty to the one who trusted him when no one else did?_

_**Category: **Angst/Drama._

_**Rating: **PG-13 to R. For safety, deals with violence and suicidal themes._

_**Notes: **I'm sorry, I would've posted this chapter last night but Telus decided to be a dickface and make it so the internet didn't work. So blame Telus if you're angry, not me. Also, if you know what has happened in books 2 to 6 (which I asume most of you do know) there really is no point in reading this chapter unless you want to point out errors I have probably made. I have not read the first 4 books since Gr. 7 and now in Gr. 10 I have just finished the last 2 books. Seeing as there is movies for the first 3 books I'm pretty sure I didn't leave out anything really important from them. But the 4th book was a total crap-shoot for me, I really can't remember much of it so therefore I've probably forgotten something really important. So, if I have forgotten something that happened in books 2 to 6 that are really important just tell me in a review or an e-mail and I'll try to fix it as soon as possible. I've never claimed to be an expert of the Harry Potter books and I never will claim to be one. So again, please forgive me if I've forgotten something really important or royally screwed up something. _

_Also, can I say really long paragraphs? I'm sorry but I've come to hate this chapter. I might redue it later but then again, I might not (it is like 4:13am right now sigh). It seems I'm having a difficult time writing non-action, non-anything-really-interesting-happening chapters. The next one will be better, I promise! And it will answer many, many questions (including that really big one, you know that one winks). So just be patient. You don't even really need to read this chapter if you don't want to. It just deals with trivial shit._

_**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter, if I did I'd be rich and not writing fanfics, now would I? Sue me if you wish but the only thing you'll get out of it is my pointe shoes because it's the only thing I've ever bought in my life. Anything recognizable is credited to J.K. Rowling anything unrecognizable can be credited to me, understood? Good. Now I'm going to shut-up so you can read the story!_

**Ch. 6 - Five Years Gone**

Severus Snape stared at the Headmaster in complete shock, "But, but that's almost five years," he stammered, "Why would he erase five years of my memory? Has he really been in power for five years?"

"No, not five years. It's been about two years," Dumbledore replied, with a small smile, "And if I'm not mistaken I don't believe that Voldemort meant to remove five years of your memory, not that he would particularly care either way. Tom Riddle was never gifted with memory charms."

"Then why didn't he get someone else to do it?" Snape whispered, turning his head to stare at the ceiling.

"Because I doubt that he trusted anyone else to do it. You, Severus, was his most trusted Death Eater, most trusted advisor. If you could turn your back on him then I believe he feared that many others would do the same."

"What has happened," Snape muttered, his voice shaking slightly, "What have I forgotten?"

"Severus, five years of memory is a long time for me to fill you in on. I'm sure it could wait for another time. For now you should sleep."

"No!" Severus yelled, grabbing Dumbledore's forearm and turning his head to stare into the Headmaster's eyes, "I am not an idiot, I know I won't survive for much longer. Tell me what I have forgotten, maybe, just maybe, I might remember something that could help."

Dumbledore stared into his friend's pleading eyes. He looked so lost, and, was that fear? Dumbledore had not seen fear in Severus' eyes since he had been a student at Hogwarts.

"Very well then," Dumbledore said, leaning back into the chair and getting comfortable, "But it will take a while and I ask of you that you do not ask any questions until I am finished."

Snape nodded, released Dumbledore's arm so that only his hand rested on the older wizard's hand, and turned his head to once again stare at ceiling.

"In Harry's second year the Chamber of Secrets was opened. It seems the Heir of Slytherin was no more then Tom Riddle himself, preserved as a sixteen-year-old in a simple diary handed to a child. That child being the youngest of the Weasley's. I believe Lucius Malfoy gave said diary to young Ginny at Diagon Alley, proven by some witnesses. The diary turned out to be one of Tom Riddles' Horcruxes and Riddle managed to posses Ginny and cause her to open the Chamber of Secrets and release the monster within. The monster turned out to be a Basalisk, that fortunately did not kill any students but only petrified them. It was also discovered that Harry was a Parseltongue and was therefore able to hear the Basalisk whispering from within the castle walls, as it was using the plumbing to travel. Ginny was then taken into the Chamber of Secrets and Tom Riddle almost succeeded in becoming powerful by feeding off of Ginny. Fortunately Harry, Ron, and Hermione had been able to figure out what was going on. Well, that was before Hermione become petrified. It was then up to Harry and Ron to get into the Chamber of Secrets and save Ginny, which, of course, they managed to do. The entrance to the Chamber of Secrets turned out to be no other then Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.

"In Harry's third year Sirius Black escaped from Azkaban and Remus Lupin came to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts, against your wishes. It was then discovered, by Sirius and Remus, that Peter Pettigrew was indeed alive and well. Living as Ron Weasley's pet rat, a rat that had been in the family for many years. Sirius Black was then discovered to be innocent, well, at least by the Order. The Ministry of Magic still believes him to be guilty. His house, number twelve, Grimmauld Place has been converted into a headquarters, with the proper magical protection of course. Anyway, that is all that needs to be said of that year, for now.

"In Harry's fourth year the Triwizard Tournament was held here, in Hogwarts. And Harry Potter was selected as one of the four contestants in the Tournament. Yes, I know, only three contestants participate in the Tournament but that year there was four as Harry was selected by the Goblet even though he had never put his name in it. Quite interesting really. But anyway, Harry competed and during the course of the Tournament Voldemort managed to pursue Harry out of Hogwarts grounds where he proceeded to use Harry's blood to return to power. Unfortunately the other Hogwarts student participating in the Tournament, young Cedric Diggory, was murdered by Voldemort. It was then that Voldemort regained power and called the first Death Eater meeting in many years. I believe it was two hours after the Dark Mark had started to burn that I told you to return to Voldemort. It was then that your job as a spy was reinstated. And after some carefully crafted lies and skilled Occlumency you managed to deceive Voldemort and was once again his most trusted advisor and Death Eater. He believed that you were spying on me for him. He was too arrogant to notice that everything you suggested that he do did not work for him but worked for the Order. He was much too arrogant to believe that any one of his followers would betray him.

"In Harry's fifth year The Ministry of Magic had, quite unfortunately, decided that not only was Harry lying about Voldemort's return but that I had lost my marbles. Quite amazing really, that they could be so blind. It was then that they assigned a one Professor Umbridge to the school, quite an interesting woman. Throughout the year many rules were instated, including banning all school groups besides Quidditch. All in an attempt to make sure that no one believed that Voldemort had indeed returned. Professor Umbridge became the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and refused to allow the students to perform any magic in her class. Sometime during the year Fred and George Weasley and Harry managed to get themselves banned from Quidditch, not that it was particularly hard to get yourself banned from anything during that year. Also, Professor Trelawny was sacked and so was Hagrid. I believe most teachers were put on probation, including you. Harry also managed, with the help of Hermione, to start an illegal school club in which they called the "D.A.", or "Dumbledore's Army." The classes were held in the Room of Requirement and were mainly focused on Harry teacher a group of students Defense Against the Dark Arts seeing as they found Professor Umbridge quite, incapable shall we say, of teacher the class properly. In the end one of the students, who was a member of the club, told Professor Umbridge and as a result I had to take the blame for creating the club and therefore was forced to resign and avoid the Ministry of Magic for a short while. Harry also developed quite the connection with Voldemort and had disturbing dreams, or visions you could say, of what Voldemort was doing. These visions helped save Arthur Weasley from an almost certain death while he was doing a service for the Order. But on the other hand, Voldemort realized the power he had all of the sudden acquired over Harry. He used these "visions" as a tool to trick Harry into going to the Ministry of Magic. He made Harry believe that he had Sirius at the Ministy of Magic and was torturing him. As it turned out, Voldemort was only trying to get Harry to retrieve the Prophecy that was at the Ministry of Magic. Oh, and during that year you were also teaching Harry Occlumency, but that is a story for another time. Anyway, Harry and some of his friends, most who were members of the D.A., managed to get to the Ministry of Magic, the details I will inform of later, and there a fight ensued with the Death Eaters present. You alerted the Order to what was happening and they got to the Ministry of Magic themselves soon after Harry and his friends. Voldemort then arrived when he realized that his plan was not going according, to well, plan. In the end Sirius Black was unfortunately lost and the Prophecy destroyed. But on the bright side, the Ministry of Magic finally believed what I had been telling them for about a year and removed Professor Umbridge from Hogwarts, not that she was in much condition to stay, but again, details for a later time.

"In Harry's sixth year, the one he is currently just finishing, I granted you permmision to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts, which you gladly took. And Horace Slughorn came out of retirement to teach Potions, seeing as you could not possible teach both subjects. Voldemort's power has been growing steadily and his wrath no longer affects the Wizarding world but has reached out to the Muggle's world also. Draco Malfoy, whose father, Lucius, is now in Azkaban after being captured at the Ministry of Magic the year before, become a Death Eater. I instructed you to watch over him and protect him because I feared that if I talked to him, and Voldemort used Legilimency against him, that he would be killed. After two unsuccessful attempts to kill me, one of which was a cursed necklace that reached the hands of Katie Bell, not me, and the other, poisoned mead that was unfortunately drank by Ron Weasley, Draco managed to get Death Eaters into Hogwarts. He did this by using the Room of Requirement, there he fixed the Vanishing Cabinet that has been broken for many years. Turns out there is another Vanishing Cabinet in Borgin and Burkes and the two create a sort of passage into Hogwarts. Quite clever really. But he Cabinet has since been destroyed. It was then discovered that Rosmerta had been under the Imperius Curse and that they were communicating with enchanted coins, the same method of communication that the D.A. had used the previous year. I left one night and Rosmerta alerted Draco with the said coins. It was then that Draco let the Death Eaters into the school and the Dark Mark was cast above the Astronomy Tower to act as a trap since no student was actually murdered. Of course, the Order was already in Hogwarts to act as security while I was gone and also members of the D.A. were present. Seems they have taken to protecting the school under their own orders. So therefore there was a fight, which is bound to happen when Death Eaters, the Order of the Phoenix members, and the D.A. members all meet in one room. I then returned to Hogwarts, quite weakened from my, while let's just say "evening jaunt," to discover the Dark Mark had been cast. Obviously, I hastened to the castle to find who it was that had been killed only to find that a trap had been set and that no one had died. It was then that Draco managed to disarm me, for you see, I had Harry with me and he was under his Invisibility Cloak and I was forced to wordlessly immobilize Harry so that he would not do something reckless. This, as you well know, distracted me for the split second that Draco needed to disarm me. But then Draco found himself incapable of killing me, even though he had come so close to his desired goal. After a short talk with the boy four of the Death Eaters managed to break away from the fight in the other room and join Draco. It was then that you showed up, alerted by Minerva of what was going on, and you took over. Ordered the other Death Eaters to leave, told them that Draco deserved his first killing to be alone, said you'd help Draco yourself. When they left you gave me back my wand and opened the door, that had been bound by the Death Eaters, and the Order and the D.A. members burst through. It was then that Greyback returned and labeled you a traitor and you gave me your Invisibility Cloak. Of course, another fight began and you sacrificed yourself to the Death Eaters so that they would leave, but not before telling Tonks what potion that would be needed to save me. Why the Death Eaters were content to leave without finishing off what they were first sent to do is beyond me. I was hoping that you would be able to tell me but I see that that will unfortunately not be the case. Many of the Death Eaters were captured but some did escape. Like I said earlier, the Vanishing Cabinet has been destroyed and the Room of Requirement is now being watched constantly and no students are allowed to enter it anymore, nor are any teachers unless I tell them.

"And this is where it ends. As you see, that last few years have been filled with quite the exciting adventures. There are, of course, more details, but that is the main overview. So Severus, will you now consent yourself to sleep?"

Snape stared at the ceiling, unmoving, unblinking, "That...that is a lot...a lot -" his voice broke off.

It seemed to Dumbledore that the man was barely containing his emotions. And Dumbledore knew, after being in Severus Snape's life for many years, that the man would rather prefer that no one saw him in his most emotional times. So the Headmaster did what he saw fit. He stood up and silently walked out of the hospital wing, leaving his friend with his thoughts.

And though the Headmaster might have been mistaken, he swore he could hear quiet sobs as the door closed behind him.


	7. The Poison

**Doesn't Remind Me**

_**Summary: **AU, WiP: What would've happened if Severus Snape had choose a different path and proved is loyalty to the one who trusted him when no one else did?_

_**Category: **Angst/Drama._

_**Rating: **PG-13 to R. For safety, deals with violence and suicidal themes._

_**Notes: **My longest chapter of yet, which is why it took so long for me to update. I wanted this chapter to be perfect because it deals with a lot of issues and questions. This is my favourtie chapter so far. The next update might not be for a while because I actually have to start doing my h/w now seeing as school might be back in session on Monday. Also, I have no idea how the Fidelius Charm actually works so I just sort of made it up. I hope you like this chapter, I put a whole lot of work in it for you guys! LoL, enjoy! _

_**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter, if I did I'd be rich and not writing fanfics, now would I? Sue me if you wish but the only thing you'll get out of it is my pointe shoes because it's the only thing I've ever bought in my life. Anything recognizable is credited to J.K. Rowling anything unrecognizable can be credited to me, understood? Good. Now I'm going to shut-up so you can read the story!_

**Ch. 7 - The Poison**

Early the next morning, the Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry made is way down the silent corridors. His destination, the hospital wing. Where he was fully prepared to be told that his long-time friend and reformed Death Eater had died during the night.

It was, however, to Albus Dumbledore's complete shock, that when he parted the curtain hiding his friend that he could clearly see the slow rising and fallen movement of the man's chest.

He was not dead.

This revelation startled the old wizard. And as shocked as he was he still managed to bless the stars, the sun, the moon, and every other living thing he could think of, that had allowed the person laying before him to survive the night.

"I see you've come," Madame Pomfrey said, pushing her way through the storage door with a tray of potions and food.

Dumbledore just nodded. He couldn't bring himself to speak, unless it somehow would reverse the miracle that had just happened.

"A bit shocked?" Pomfrey questioned with a laugh, "I was too when I woke up," she set the tray down beside the bed, "It's a miracle. This man here," she pointed at Snape for emphasize, "is the luckiest man I know. He has knocked on death's door too many times for my liking, but yet still manages to make it out alive. Someone, somewhere, wants him to stay alive."

"So," Dumbledore started, still shocked, "does that mean he will live?"

"Oh no, I can't promise anything yet. But the first twenty-four hours are the most critical. And it looks like he's going to make it through just fine. Not to get your hopes up or anything. He could still make a drastic turn for the worse, but I doubt it. He will, unfortunately, have some permanent injuries. His sight being the main one, and the curse cast on his arm."

"Did you figure out what that curse was?" Dumbledore asked quietly.

"I believe it to be the same one cast on your hand. The only difference being that the one cast on your hand was dealt with almost immediately, Severus' was not. It's been steadily getting worse for, I'd say around a week. If it had not been stopped yesterday it would've killed him by now. It had almost reached his heart. As of now it had just started to attack his lung before I managed to stop it, or slow it. I'd be better of saying "slow" not "stop" as we both know the only way to stop this curse is to kill the man who cast it."

"How long does -"

"Oh don't worry," Pomfrey interrupted, "it will be at least fifteen years before it reaches his heart and kills him. Unfortunately it will forever cause him pain to move his arm. It's done a wonderful job of destroying the muscles and tissues, and even attacked part of the nerve system, of his arm and shoulder, and part of his lung. I'm afraid that anything extremely active may be harder for him to do."

"And there's nothing -"

"It's the same curse as the one on your hand Albus. Have you already forgotten that your hand has also not yet been cured?" Pomfrey said with a smile.

"But you, and Severus, both said I would die from age before the curse killed me," Dumbledore replied, slightly confused.

"Well, yes. But Albus, you are much older than Severus and the curse was caught much earlier. It would take over a hundred years for the curse to make it all the way up your arm."

"Yes, yes, that makes sense," Dumbledore muttered.

Pomfrey shook her head, amused, "I see you have yet to get over the shock. Here," she conjured up a chair behind the Headmaster, "sit. It is still a while until breakfast."

Dumbledore nodded and sat down in the offered seat. He took to intently watching the rise and fall of Severus' chest, as if he stopped watching the chest would stop rising.

"Headmaster?" Pomfrey whispered.

"Yes," Dumbledore replied, sounding tired and worn.

"Is something wrong? Is there something you wish to speak of?"

Dumbledore looked up at the trusted doctor, noticing that she was also sitting and intently watching someone, only that someone was not Snape, but him.

"It's just that," Dumbledore paused, searching for the right words, "It's just that it's such a, a horrible thing to do, even for Voldemort. Especially for Severus. For him to forget so much, it's going to be devastating for him."

"Well, I'd imagine it would be," Pomfrey replied, "Five years is a lot of memory to lose."

"Pomfrey, "Dumbledore whispered, bringing his eyes down to look at Severus' pale face, "promise me you won't tell Severus, or anyone else, what I'm about to tell you."

"Of course," Pomfrey replied without hesitation, "I promise."

"I believe, though I dearly hope I'm wrong, that Severus has lost more memory then just the past five years. A Memory Charm strong enough to erase five years of someone's memory at one time is almost unheard of. And because of that I believe that many of Severus' earlier memories, say from his childhood at Hogwarts, and even the beginning of his Death Eater days, may also be gone. In fact, I am almost certain of it. Tom Riddle was never good at directing his Memory Charms. He could produce powerful Charms but he was never able to master the delicate skill of being able to choose the memories wished to be erased. As a result, I fear that he just cast the most powerful Memory Charm he could, with no regard for the memories he erased. I don't believe he even cared for he just believed Severus was to be killed anyway."

Madame Pomfrey stared, mouth wide, at the Headmaster, clearly shocked at what she had just be told, "But wizards who lose a lot of their memories usually -"

"End up going insane," Dumbledore finished, "I know. I fear that the Severus Snape who wakes up from this is not going to be the Severus Snape we've known for the past many years."

The two sat in silence, watching the man before them, watching him struggle for life.

"How long will it be until he wakes up?" Dumbledore asked softly.

"I don't know," Pomfrey replied with a shrug, "He could wake up in an hour or in a couple days. But when he wakes I will send for you."

Dumbledore nodded, and without another word, he stood up and left the hospital wing.

Day after day, for over a week, Dumbledore would visit the hospital wing to be greeted by the same sight. The only difference would be that other beds might be occupied with students who had not been there the day before. Also, security at the hospital wing had to be heightened because it seemed many of the students could not help but try to see their professor in such a vulnerable state, as they called it.

It was, however, exactly eleven days later, on a lovely Thursday morning, when Severus Snape woke up, in quite the fashion. Dumbledore was sitting at the Head Table, enjoying his breakfast after, yet again, visiting the hospital wing and after, yet again, being greeted by the same sight.

But halfway through his meal, and with some of the students just getting ready to leave for their morning classes, the doors to the Great Hall burst open and in hurried a very frantic Madame Pomfrey who shouted, quite loudly, "He's missing!"

Dumbledore quickly stood up, "May I inquire as to who is missing Madame Pomfrey?" he questioned calmly.

"Severus sir! I swear I am going to kill that man! He wakes up and then proceeds, without telling anyone, to just leave! He is in no state to be anywhere BUT the hospital wing! Wizards don't get sick often but Severus' body can not defend against even the most simplest cold right now! And I'm not going to have the man miraculously survive being tortured to near death to die from a simple cold because he is too damn stubborn and proud to stay in the hospital wing! If a cold doesn't kill him than I am going to KILL HIM MYSELF!"

"Silence," Dumbledore demanded, and the students stopped their muttering immediately, "Everyone is too stay in the Great Hall until further notice. McGonagall, Pomfrey, if you please, follow me. I have a feeling I know exactly where are missing professor is."

And with that the Headmaster left his seat, followed closely by McGonagall, and the two joined Madame Pomfrey. The students watched the three professors leave the Great Hall, slightly shocked at this new development, and burst into excited chatter as the door closed.

Dumbledore lead his two professors down the corridors and into the dungeons of Hogwarts.

"Headmaster, may I ask where we are going?" Pomfrey muttered, clearly angry at Severus managing to escape her care and leave the hospital wing unnoticed.

"To Severus' office." Dumbledore replied, as if all this was just a pleasant talk over tea and that nothing dramatic was happening at all.

"I highly doubt he would go there," Pomfrey muttered bitterly, "He knows we would look there first. And even if he is there then he's probably done something to prevent us from getting in there."

"I must disagree with you Madame," Dumbledore said with a small smile, "Severus has just had much of his memory erased, he would go immediately to the place he felt the safest, the most recognizable place. And it also seems you have forgotten another small detail, Severus no longer has a wand so he could not impose any protection upon his office that could prevent us from getting into it. Also, any protection put in place in Hogwarts, if not done directly by the Headmaster, can easily be reversed by the Headmaster."

"He has no wand? Where is it?" McGonagall whispered.

"Well, I'm quite confident that Voldemort has destroyed it. So it seems he his going to just have to get another one, which might prove somewhat difficult."

The three lapsed into silence for a few minutes until Dumbledore spoke again, sounding more worried this time, "Now, we don't know what state Severus is in. I'm sure we all know what can happen to someone who has their mind tampered with in such a way, so be prepared for anything and everything. We don't know what Severus will do or how he will act, please be cautious in what you say and do. I'm quite sure that none of us want to have to do something drastic to contain Severus."

The other two nodded in a silent response and all that could be heard for the next few minutes were the swishing of robes and the thud of feet hitting stone floor. Finally, they came upon the door to Severus Snape's office and sounds of someone moving around could be heard from within. Dumbledore raised his hand and knocked three times, the sounds suddenly stopped.

"Come in," came the whispered response from behind the door. Dumbledore pushed the door open and the three entered to a sight of utter destruction.

"Severus," Dumbledore whispered, scanning the room. Books were everywhere, the shelves emptied. Potions lay strewn everywhere, broken bottles and spilled containers covered the floor, "May I ask what you are doing?"

Severus Snape place both hands on his desk and hung his head, breathing in heavily he replied, "I've lost everything."

"You have not lost everything Severus," Dumbledore said, fear and concern colouring his voice, "I understand that you are confused, distraught even, and that you want answers to questions that I don't know if I can answer."

"DO NOT TELL ME YOU UNDERSTAND!" Severus screamed, whipping his head up to stare at his Headmaster. After taking a couple of deep breaths the man seemed to contain himself somewhat and he continued, in a more civil tone, "When you have had over half your memory erased you can come to me and tell me you understand! Until then don't even begin to think you understand!" He turned around and started pacing, with a noticeable limp in his right leg, "You know what's worse?" he whispered, barely audible, "I don't even know what I've forgotten. I can't even remember how much I've forgotten, or if I've even forgotten anything! It's so, so FRUSTRATING! There's times when I know I've lost memory, like the last five years, but there's times I don't even know if I've lost my memory. There's time from my childhood that I think I've lost memories but I don't know. I don't know ANYTHING!" Severus leaned his back against the wall behind his desk and rubbed his tired eyes with his right hand, "My dad died when I was twelve," he continued, almost losing control of his emotions, "and I can't even remember his name, or what he looked like, or who he was, or even how he died. I can only remember that it was my fault. And the only thing I remember about my mom is her telling me that it WAS my fault. I can only remember ONE FUCKING CONVERSATION WITH ONE OF MY PARENTS!"

"Severus," Dumbledore whispered, sadness in his usually sparkling eyes.

"SHUT-UP!" Severus screamed, grabbing his head with both arms and sliding down the wall into a sitting position. The fire, burning brightly in the fireplace beside him, burned his skin. The man stared at the floor, shutting his eyes closed. He brought his head forward, still clutching onto it with both hands, then brought it back quickly, and the loud crack of scull hitting stone rang throughout the small room.

Within seconds Albus Dumbledore was kneeling in front of Severus Snape and had both of the man's wrists in his own hands, "Look at me Severus," Dumbledore whispered. Severus looked up and saw the same grief that was on his own face mirrored in his friends.

"Trust me when I say this Severus," Dumbledore began, "You can make it through this. Lesser men have stumbled and fallen at such an obstacle. And I'm sure you will stumble and I'm sure you will fall, but your friends are going to be right there to pick you up, whether you like it or not," he added with a small smile, "If there is anytime in your life that you choose to let those around you help you, this would be the perfect time. You may not be able to regain your memories but that does not make you a failure or any lesser of a man. If anything, this proves that you are even stronger then anyone could ever think. You must believe in yourself Severus, and you must, for I believe the first time in your life, trust yourself to others if you wish to make it through this." Severus nodded, tears threatening to spill out of his eyes.

"Now, do you mind answering my first question?" Dumbledore asked, and when met with a confused look from Severus he continued, "What are you doing? Or I guess it's now, what were you doing?"

Severus sighed, and with his right hand he rubbed the tears that had managed to escape his barrier and trace a path down his cheeks, "I was looking."

"For what?" Dumbledore prodded.

"I don't know." It was now Dumbledore's turn to look confused.

"You mean to tell me you're looking for something but you don't actually know what it is you're looking for."

"Correct." When Severus was met with a stunned silence from his friend he smiled, shook his head slightly, and continued, "I believe, though I have no memory of this, that I would never have been as stupid to serve two years, or however long it was, as Voldemort's spy without somehow recording what I learned down. The only problem is I have no idea what I recorded down or how I recorded it. But I know that I would've known that the first thing that would've happened if I was found as a spy would be that my memory would be erased. And that seems to be proven true."

"But you don't actually remember recording anything, do you?" Dumbledore asked.

"No," Severus replied, frustrated, "But I know I would have. Because I know that there would have been things that I would not have been able to tell you for fear of Voldemort using Legilimency against me and finding out that I was a spy."

"And you came to this conclusion, how?"

"With my brain Albus. It's not completely destroyed or useless."

Dumbledore stood and offered his hand to help Severus stand but Severus pushed it away and instead focused on something that had caught his attention. Something on the floor by his desk, something that just wasn't quite right. He shifted his body around and crawled the few feet to the desired spot.

"Severus..." Dumbledore questioned, before noticing the same thing that Severus had noticed. Quickly the Headmaster walked to the same spot and kneeled down on one knee. He pointed his wand at the oddly coloured section of the floor and muttered, "Alohomora." The mysterious spot on the floor seemed to shift slightly and a small hole, no bigger then the width of someone's finger, appeared. Snape place his index finger in the whole and pulled, a small door opened up and in the hidden chamber was a collection of small books.. All the books were labeled with a number and neatly stacked, in three stacks according of different colours. Severus Snape reached down and grabbed the book on the top of the pile of black books, the book labeled '1.' Severus looked up at Dumbledore and the Headmaster nodded, answering the silent question.

Severus opened the book and saw his messy handwriting covering the very first page. He began reading it out loud for everyone to hear, "This is Severus Snape and I'm writing this now in hopes of helping those who are fighting against the Dark Lord if such unfortunate circumstances arise that I cannot be of help, either because I have died or my memory has been erased. In the black books you will find my recordings of everything that has happened since I became a Death Eater that has to do with the Death Eaters and the Dark Lord, the first entry being in 1981, when I first became a teacher at Hogwarts, and which has recollections of all I can remember. The other entries will have to do with other Death Eaters as I keep in contact with them throughout the Dark Lord's fall. And in the case that the Dark Lord rises once again, and my position as a spy is reinstated, then the entries will consist of detailed descriptions of the Death Eater meetings and any information that has to do with any of the Death Eaters and the Dark Lord. I choose to do this because I know that if the Dark Lord rises again I will not be able to tell Dumbledore, or any of his followers, everything that I know, it would be too risky and it would put my life and my position on the line. And such risks can't be taken in wars, as I have learned too many times in the past years.

"The green books will have all my recordings on my potion work. As a result, I'm quite sure that out of all the books I will have the most green books. The green books will also have recordings regarding any spells, curses, or counter-curses that I may wish to write down for memory's sake.

"The blue books will be my own journal. I ask that the only person who read the blue books be Albus Dumbledore. If I have only lost my memory then it is up to me to decide whether I allow Dumbledore to read the blue books or not. In any case, the blue books are nothing but my emotions on the events of whatever day I happen to have the urge to write. It may not make sense and it may not be of any help to anyone should I die. But it is there, mainly for myself incase my memory is erased and I wish to try and remember more about what was recorded in the other books."

"Well," Dumbledore said after a long silence, "It seems you have found the unknown you were searching for. I'm assuming you would wish to read these books."

"Take the black ones."

"But surely you would want -"

"Albus, take the black ones, read them. When you are done then I will read them. They will be of far more use to you instead of me because you understand what is going on and I have no idea anymore."

"Severus -"

"Albus, just take them."

"Very well," Dumbledore caved in, and with a flick of his wand all the black books disappeared and reappeared on Albus' desk, quite a few floors above where he was currently standing.

With another flick of his wand the rest of the books, green and blue, levitated and where placed neatly on Severus' desk.

"Now Albus, sir," Madame Pomfrey spoke up for the first time, "Is Severus ready to return to the hospital wing?"

Snape grasped Dumbledore's offered hand and gingerly stood up.

"I don't believe that Severus will be returning to the hospital wing," Dumbledore said, smiling.

"What! Albus, are you insane! Severus needs to be in the hospital wing. It's too dangerous for him here!"

"It's physically too dangerous for Severus to be here, I think it's mentally too dangerous for Severus to stay at the hospital wing. It goes against the very person Severus is, doesn't it?" Dumbledore finished with a question to Snape, "Would you rather stay here or at the hospital wing?"

"Here," Severus answered without hesitation, "Definitely here."

"Well, then that matters settled. Don't worry Pomfrey," Dumbledore began before the school doctor could interrupt, "Severus' chambers will be opened to you to come and go as you wish until you find that Severus is well enough to be left alone. With that said," Dumbledore turned to face Severus, "You, Severus, will have to eat and drink everything that Pomfrey tells you too, and you shall rest when she tells you too, and you shall not over exert yourself until she says you are able to do so. If I hear of any nonsense about you refusing to do what is good for you then I will be forced to place you back in the hospital wing where Madame Pomfrey will be able to watch you constantly. We all know you are too stubborn for your own good but please, just listen to Pomfrey for once this time." Severus nodded in response, realizing that no amount of arguing was going to get him out of this situation.

"McGonagall," Dumbledore continued, "will you please go back to the Great Hall and tell the students and teachers to start their morning classes. And Pomfrey, will you please go to the hospital wing and gather whatever potions that Severus here will need to take for the next few days. I believe Severus has something he wishes to speak to me about, alone."

Professor McGonagall nodded and left quickly while Madame Pomfrey glared at both Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape, clearly annoyed at the two of them, then turned on her heals and left.

Severus stared at Dumbledore in shock, "How did you know?"

"Severus, your mind has been through trauma and your Occlumency skills are nothing but non-existent at the moment," Dumbldore answered, "Here," he flicked his wand and a small pile of Severus' clothes appeared on the desk, neatly place beside the books already there, "I'm quite sure you'll want to change out of the hospital wing's clothes."

Severus nodded and mumbled, "Thanks." The Headmaster turned around so his back faced his friend to allow him the necessary privacy to change clothes.

"Albus?"

"Yes Severus," Dumbledore turned around to face the now changed Professor Snape, "Ah, much better, don't you think?"

Severus nodded, smiling just a little before his face turned somber again, "What happened to Draco? Surely you did not -"

"Do not worry Severus, Draco and his mother are both quite safe at the moment. Though Narcissa is very displeased with everything that has recently occurred. They are currently protected here in Hogwarts by the Fidelius Charm."

"Can I-"

"See them?" Dumbledore finished, "I thought you would wish to talk to them. After all, it is because of them you are now in the condition you are in. Follow me if you will."

Dumbledore turned and walked quickly out of the room and Snape fell in step beside him. They walked in silence, Dumbledore leading them on a very confusing path of turns and doors. Before long they had reached an area of the school so far down in the dungeons that Dumbledore had to cast a Lumos charm because there were no candles lining the walls.

They reached what seemed to be a dead end and Dumbledore flicked his wand, stopping the Lumos charm and the corridor went pitch black. Snape could hear the Headmaster muttering under his breath but he could not understand what he was saying. After a few tense minutes light returned to the corridor and a door had now appeared in the solid wall.

"Now, they both don't have their wands so you don't have to worry about them taking this chance to kill you. As I'm sure you could guess, Narcissa tried to kill every person who had gone to retrieve her to bring her here."

Severus nodded and watched Dumbledore push the door open and he followed quickly behind him, knowing that has soon has the door was shut it would become invisible once again. He was met by the sight of a small room, with sofas, chairs, a table, a small kitchen, and three doors that he assumed lead to two bedrooms and a bathroom. Someone had taken the time to make this place as comfortable as possible.

Narcissa looked up when she heard the door open and gasped when she saw who had come in. She quickly stood up and stared in complete shock. She watched as Dumbledore retreated to a corner in the back of the room and Severus limped over to her. She stared at the person she had once called her friend, he looked horrible. His face was gaunt and paler them normal, he look emaciated. His one eye was black and alert, taking in all of his surroundings. The other a foggy grey colour and not focusing on anything. She saw that he hugged his left arm close to his body, as if it hurt him to move it. She looked down and saw that his left hand was black, withered, the skin looked like it had been burned off.

Draco sat up straighter in his chair, twisting his body around to get the full sight of the scene unfolding in front of him.

Narcissa clenched and unclenched her hands, staring into the eyes of Severus Snape as he stopped walking just feet in front of her. She took a step forward and slapped him, his head snapped to the sighed.

"How dare you! I trusted you! Lucius trusted you! We called you our FRIEND!" Narcissa was panting, her anger overwhelming her.

Severus slowly turned his head to face Narcissa once again, "I thought that you, of all people, would know not to trust a Death Eater."

"A Death Eater! How dare you call yourself that! You are a TRAITOR! You turned your back on the Dark Lord!"

"Are you not a traitor yourself? You did not return to Voldemort," Narcissa cringed at the name, "but instead chose to come to Hogwarts to be with your son."

"I came because I had too! Because I would've been killed otherwise! Dumbledore had to be killed or else Draco and I would be! Lucius trusted you, you were friends!"

"Friends? Friends with Lucius? In case you haven't noticed Narcissa, Lucius is one of the most manipulative bastards I have ever met. Are friendship stopped the day he ruined my life, the day he convinced me Voldemort would be able to give me everything I wanted. I wanted revenger, Lucius promised me Voldemort would help me get it. Do you know what I got instead? Do you!" Severus replied, his voice rising with his anger, "Of course you don't! Do you ever wonder why the men often carried out the raids separate from the woman? Did Lucius ever tell you that?"

"No, I don't know why and I don't care!" Narcissa replied, her anger reaching it's breaking point.

"Because," Snape continued in a near whisper, "the crimes we were forced to commit against the woman, the young children, would be unbearable for the female Death Eaters to watch. Did you know that your husband was always the first Death Eater to volunteer for such raids? Even after he married you, even after you had a child. That's what I got, not revenge, murder, murder and rape. I'm not a rapist, I never wanted to be one, and yet, funny enough, that's what I got. That's the life Lucius decided to give me. Don't get me wrong, it was not wholly his fault, I must take some of the blame for being so foolish enough to ever believe that I could get the revenge I so desired. I was blinded by my anger, my hate. Your husband saw this and used it against me, I played right into his hands. Like I said, his the most manipulative bastard I have, and ever will, meet."

The colour in Narcissa Malfoy's had drained, leaving her pale. Her anger had diminished somewhat, overtaken by shock.

"And I hope you know, that from the moment I set eyes on your son I knew you had condemned him to life of murder and treachery. I life where he would never be able to trust anyone. I life robbed of any emotions besides anger, hate, and revenge. Look at your son, look at what you've made him do. Then look at me. Do you want your son to turn out like me? Do you!"

Narcissa stared into Severus' eyes, "No," she replied, her tone icy and cold, "No one wants to end up like you."

Snape sneered, "You know he's going to end up right where I have. A traitor to both sides, trusted by no one but a select few. Hated by almost everyone. Deceived, lied to, used then thrown away like an old rag. Your son has talented, he still has a chance. Let him be the man he should be, not the man you want him to be. The dark side is not where he belongs. You have brainwashed him, forced your beliefs onto him. If your not careful he won't trust anyone, not even you. He'll turn his back on everyone, and everyone will turn their backs on him, just like me. Let him live, really live, not just exist as a pawn in a war where he doesn't belong, a war where he doesn't fit. If he keeps going like this he'll end up like me, alive but dead at the same time. Labelled a traitor, sent to Azkaban to live the rest of his pitiful days. Is that what you always wanted from your son?"

"Shut-up! I don't need to listen to you! Tell me Snape," she said his name with disgust, "How is it that you manage to live through so many failed missions? Through the Dark Lord's torture? How is it that you, out of all people, managed to break an Unbreakable Vow and live!"

Severus Snape's train of thought froze, shock overwhelmed him and looked over at his should at Dumbledore, who had stepped out from the shadows and was walking over to the two former friends.

"I made an Unbreakable Vow?" Snape whispered in confusion, "And I broke it? Why am I not dead?" He looked over at Dumbledore, who was now standing beside him.

"Narcissa, what did Severus vow to do?" Dumbledore quitely asked.

Narcissa looked from Severus to Albus, then back to Severus, "You don't remember? How can you not remember!"

"Narcissa," Severus began, "I've had over half my memory erased, including everything that has happened in the last five years."

Narcissa stared, mouth opened, "Half your memory?" she whispered in shock.

"Narcissa please," Dumbledore said, "What did Severus vow?"

Still in shock she replied, "He vowed to watch over Draco as he attempted to fulfill the Dark Lord's wishes. He vowed to protect Draco to the best of his abilities. And he vowed, he vowed," she stammered, took a deep breath, and continued, "that, if Draco were to fail, he would carry out the deed the Dark Lord had ordered Draco to perform. That deed was to kill Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

"But Dumbledore is not dead," Severus whispered, "And yet I am still alive." He turned his head to look at the Headmaster.

Dumbledore started pacing, deep in thought, "Perhaps," he thought out loud, "that the binder had not performed the bond properly?"

"It was my sister, Bellatrix. She would not have performed the bond improperly."

Dumbledore continued to pace for many minutes until finally he stopped and stared at the three other companions in the room. Draco had left his seat at the couch and was now standing beside his mother.

"Well, I believe this is the first time someone has ever broken the Unbreakable Vow and lived. Before now the longest person to live after breaking an Unbreakable Vow was seventeen days, with nine of those days laying in a bed, unable to move, simply waiting for death. Yet here we have a wizard who has broken the Vow and his now standing before us, I believe that it has been exactly thirty days since the Vow was broken. The only thing that I could think of that might be able to explain this amazing feet is that when Voldemort cast the Memory Charm on Severus Snape he removed much of his memory, including the memory of him making the Unbreakable Vow. As a result, I believe that since Severus no longer remembers making the Vow the Vow has lost it's power. Therefore he could not kill him because he didn't remember making it so it became like he had made nothing more than a simple promise."

"So, you're saying," Narcissa said, "That the Dark Lord cast a Memory Charm on Severus that turned out to save Severus' life instead of ruin it like he intended?"

"Correct," Dumbledore replied, "In casting the Memory Charm Voldemort rendered the Unbreakable Vow powerless. If he had not cast the Memory Charm and Severus had still escaped he would be dead by now. I can't be sure that this is the reason but it seems to be the only solution. And it also seems that Severus Snape has beaten the odds once again. You seem to be a walking miracle of late."

Severus looked from Dumbledore's smiling face, to Narcissa's shocked face, to Draco's haggard face, and back to Dumbledore's smiling face. He nodded at Dumbledore, turned to face Narcissa and Draco and nodded to them both, and then turned and followed Dumbledore out the door. He let it slam shut, leaving a shocked Narcissa to stare at the door that had disappeared behind the two wizards.


	8. Storm

**Doesn't Remind Me**

_**Summary: **AU, WiP: What would've happened if Severus Snape had choose a different path and proved is loyalty to the one who trusted him when no one else did?_

_**Category: **Angst/Drama._

_**Rating: **PG-13 to R. For safety, deals with violence and suicidal themes._

_**Notes: **This chapter has yet to be proof read, I've done a spell check but we all know spell checks don't catch everything! I'm posting this because I figure, why the hell not? I'll probably repost this chapter tomorrow when I go back and re-edit it, but don't worry, it won't change a lot! So please escuse any weird grammatical errors, it's really late right now! (3:37 AM) I'm really procrastinating, I should be doing my homework but instead I'm writing a fanfic, oh well! I want to thank all my reviewers again, you guys inspire me to keep on writing! So thank you very, very much! Also, I'm sorry it's kind of short. The next one will be longer, I promise! Oh, and the next one might not be up for awhile, seeing as school is supose to start up on Monday now and that will obviously, once again, take up much of my time. So only expect updates about once a week from now (but they'll be longer to make up for it)._

_**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter, if I did I'd be rich and not writing fanfics, now would I? Sue me if you wish but the only thing you'll get out of it is my pointe shoes because it's the only thing I've ever bought in my life. Anything recognizable is credited to J.K. Rowling anything unrecognizable can be credited to me, understood? Good. Now I'm going to shut-up so you can read the story!_

**Ch. 8 - Storm**

Severus Snape silently followed behind the Headmaster, deep in thought, his mind reeling with the information he had just gathered. It was only when Dumbledore stopped walking and Severus ran into him did he focus his attention on his surroundings. Albus Dumbledore turned around and looked quizzically at Snape but Snape just sneered at the Headmaster. Refusing to answer the older wizards unasked question, whatever that question was, Snape did not know and did not want to know. Instead the Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher was focusing his attention on the corridor he had just walked in too, the corridor full of students who were in the midst of a class change. Students who had stopped to stare at the two wizards who had just emerged from a door that no one had noticed before. It was not the staring that had unnerved Severus Snape, it was the rude reminder of just how much memory he had lost. He saw the students, but he only recognized one student when he knew he should've been able to recognize all the students. He had, after all, been the teacher for all of them throughout the whole year, and he knew that he had taught many of them throughout the last few years.

It was then that Minerva McGonagall briskly walked around the corner of the corridor and, looking quite distressed, walked over to where Dumbledore and Snape where standing, still looking at the staring students.

"My goodness," McGonagall loudly stated, her eyes sweeping over the still students, "by the looks of it I would say that none of you have ever seen Professor Dumbledore or Professor Snape. Move along now or you'll be late for your next class."

The students immediately jumped into motion and started for their next classes. When McGonagall was satisfied that all the students had clearly understood her she turned her attention the other two Professors in the corridor.

"The Minister of Magic has arrived, again, with a few Aurors too," McGonagall hurriedly whispered, "He still believes that the school is no longer safe. He wishes to speak to you and," she paused, looking at Snape, "to Severus, if he is able. I allowed him entry into your office."

Dumbledore turned his head and looked at Severus, "Do you think you are able?"

Severus nodded, his mind still focusing on what had just learned from Narcissa.

"Albus, if I may ask, what happened between you and the Malfoys?"

"Minerva, that knowledge shall remain between me, Severus, and the two Malfoys who were present."

McGonagall sighed, nodded, then turned to follow the Headmaster, falling in step with Severus Snape. She looked over at the man, he seem tired, worn, he looked worse then she had ever seen him, and she had seen him in pretty bad condition before. She also noticed that he was not only limping a great deal but also stumbling every now and then. McGonagall became worried, had the man over exerted himself? It clearly seemed like he had. But it also seemed that Dumbledore had either not noticed or was not worried about this clear sign of exhaustion from the often withdrawn man.

It was not long before the two wizards and one witch were on the spiral staircase leading into the Headmaster's office. Dumbledore pushed the door opened and the three walked into the room, Severus being the last. And as soon as the three Auror's saw him they quickly stood up and pointed their wands.

"Now, now," Dumbledore said, "There is no need for such hostility. Severus doesn't even have a wand at the moment."

"So you acknowledge that Mr. Snape is dangerous with his wand?" The man that had remained seating enquired.

"Not to you, no, but if you speak of those that wish to kill him, then yes," Dumbledore replied with a smile.

"I thought the Minister of Magic was Cornelius Fudge?" Severus asked quietly, a hint of confusion in his voice.

"Oh yes, I forgot Severus. Fudge was fired following the events at the Ministry of Magic, this is the new Minister of Magic, Rufus Scimgeour," Dumbledore answered.

"How do you not know who the Minister of Magic is Snape? If anything this gives more proof to the suspicions that you are working for Him!"

"Rufus please. Severus did not know you had become Minister of Magic because he has just had much of his memory erased, including all of the last five years."

"Dumbledore!" Rufus replied, frustrated, "I'm quite sure the man can answer for himself!"

"And I'm quite sure he'd be more inclined to answer your questions himself if he did not have three Aurors pointing their wands at him," Dumbledore calmly replied.

"It's simply for my protection, you know that the Ministry of Magic does not believe the school is safe. Especially with a known Death Eater teaching."

"I am not teaching and I am no longer a Death Eater," Severus snapped at Rufus Scrimgeour before turning to look at Dumbledore and asking, "Albus, may I sit down?"

"Of course. Here," the Headmaster conjured up a chair for both Severus and Minerva and Severus gingerly sat down while Minerva remained standing, leaning on the back of her chair. Dumbledore then walked over and sat down behind his desk, folding his hand on top of a thin pile of papers, "Now Rufus, will you please tell your Aurors to lower their wands and sit back down. No one is going to hurt anyone here."

Rufus Scimgeour crossed his arms, glared at Dumbledore for a few tense minutes before finally nodding and saying, "Sit down, but keep your wands ready."

The three Aurors silently sat down, folding their hands on their laps, their wands gripped firmly in their palms.

"Now Severus," the Minister of Magic began, focusing his glare on the injured wizard, "What did you say before?"

"Snape," Severus growled back, "Call me Snape."

Rufus looked surprised for just a second, but he quickly organized his face back into his trademark glare, "I will call you by your first name if I wish. It's my right."

"It's Snape, and if you refuse to call me such then I will leave. It's my right to not talk to you if I do not wish too."

"Do you ever answer the questions you're asked, Severus?"

Severus Snape scowled at the Minister of Magic and then began to rise from his chair, having the full intention of leaving.

"Severus," Dumbledore warned in a low voice.

The Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher looked over at his Headmaster and raised an eyebrow in confusion but consented to sitting back down.

"You let Dumbledore call you Severus," Rufus hissed threateningly.

"That is because I trust the Headmaster with my life, unlike you, who I don't even remember," Snape retorted.

"You don't remember me?" Rufus laughed, "You are lying, just like you always have."

"Oh yes, I must be," Snape replied sarcastically, "Maybe if I think hard enough all my memories will come back to me!"

"Why must you persist in being so angry all the time, Snape?" Rufus said the name with disgust, like it was nothing but filth.

"Because I have just had over half my memory erased for your cause! And yet still, I'm nothing but a traitor! I have put my life on the line everyday for this war and yet I'm still just a Death Eater. A filthy, lying, Death Eater," Snape argued, "At least now you can no longer hold that title against me," he finished, more softly.

"And what do you mean by that? I have said it before and I will say it again, once a Death Eater, always a Death Eater. It's a decision that can't be reversed."

"If I may," Dumbledore suddenly interrupted, "Rufus you can trust me when I say that Severus Snape is no longer a Death Eater. And that is no longer based on the simple fact of where I believe his to allegiance be but also on the fact that he no longer carries the Dark Mark."

"How can he no longer carry the Dark Mark! It's is permanent!" Rufus replied, his voice rising slightly.

"Yes it is permanent, at least, on the skin. But we all know that the skin is not invincible," Dumbledore responded, his anger rising slightly.

"What do you mean? You cannot tell me things without proof Albus!"

Dumbledore sighed, "It is not my place to show you the proof."

With that said all six sets of eyes turned to stare expectedly at Severus Snape who simple scowled in return. Shaking his head, "I'm not putting myself on display," he challenged.

"If you can prove you are no longer a Death Eater then I will not be forced to put you in custody and take you to Azkaban," Rufus declared.

"And why would I be sent to Azkaban!" Severus snapped back, fear squeezing his heart at the thought of being imprisoned in Azkaban.

"Because you are a known Death Eater and the Ministry of Magic believes you were the one to allow the other Death Eaters entry into the school! We cannot allow someone that dangerous to stay in the same place that so many children are staying!"

"Rufus," Dumbledore interjected, "I have told you that it was not Severus who let those Death Eaters in. I have also told you that it was Severus that saved my life. Without him I would be dead right now."

"And yet you give no proof! You refuse to tell us who it was that allowed the Death Eaters entry even though you claim to know who it was! We have concluded that you are simple trying to protect Severus Snape, for whatever reason!"

Dumbledore opened is mouth to speak but before he could he was cut off by Severus exploded, "Fine! If it clears my name, and Dumbledore's, then I will show you the proof you so desperately need!"

The six set of eyes returned to stare at this unexpected, and unusual, burst of anger. They watched as Severus slowly stood up, using the chair as support, shrugged off his robe and undid the buttons on his shirt. His fingers fumbled slightly, his injured hand not working quite as well as it use too. It was also the first time that Rufus Scrimgeour has seen the injured hand for it had been hidden within the folds of Severus Snape's robes for the entire conversation. After the buttons where successfully undone Severus removed his right sleeve first and then, with a small sigh of anger and resentment, the wizard removed the left sleeve and let the shirt fall on to the chair behind him. The Minister of Magic, and the three Aurors that had accompanied him, could not contain their gasps of horror at the sight before them. The blackened hand, arm, and chest where grotesque. The days in the hospital wing had done nothing to repair the injuries, and nothing ever would.

"And here is your proof," Severus spat out in anger. He turned his arm so that his forearm could be clearly seen and revealed the spot in his arm where the Dark Mark should have been. The spot that the skin had been removed, the spot where he had been cut down to the bone. The bone which had not been spared the affects of the curse, the bone that was also black and charred, "Skin will never grow over this," Snape continued, his anger getting the best of him, "My arm will never heal. It is useless, I can barely move it anymore. And yet, you still think I'm nothing more but a filthy traitor! After everything I have done to help you win this war you still refuse to believe that I have changed my ways!"

"Severus," Dumbledore consoled, "he understands. Please, I think that is enough."

Severus Snape turned his head to stare at the man you he trusted above all else and nodded. He grabbed his shirt and started to put it back on.

Dumbledore, satisfied that Snape had finished, returned his attention to the Minister of Magic, "If that is all then Professor McGonagall will take you to the edge of Hogwarts' grounds and grant you leave."

Rufus Scrimgeour nodded, got up, and followed McGonagall out of Dumbledore's office, with the Aurors following close behind. The Headmaster returned his attention to the only remaining wizard in the room and saw that he had finished putting his shirt and robe back on. And he saw something that alarmed him greatly, the pain clearly evident on the Professor's face.

"Severus, what is wrong?" Dumbledore question, concern colouring his voice.

Severus Snape turned to face Albus Dumbledore but was greeted with a spinning room and a massive headache. He grabbed the back of the chair for support but it was too late.

For the first time in all the years that Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry had been in existence, a wizard fainted in the Headmaster's office.


	9. Sacrifice

**Doesn't Remind Me**

_**Summary: **AU, WiP: What would've happened if Severus Snape had choose a different path and proved is loyalty to the one who trusted him when no one else did?_

_**Category: **Angst/Drama._

_**Rating: **PG-13 to R. For safety, deals with violence and suicidal themes._

_**Notes: **Sorry for the long wait, school as started again (strike over, sadness) and my life has become controlled by h/w and dance audtions. So updates will be every weekend, if I'm lucky. I'm sorry, I'm trying! So instead I'm going to make the chapters longer to make up for having to make you guys wait, is that a good trade off?This hasn't been edited since I have to go to bed, like **right now** so I'll edit it tomorrow. Hope you enjoy!_

_**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter, if I did I'd be rich and not writing fanfics, now would I? Sue me if you wish but the only thing you'll get out of it is my pointe shoes because it's the only thing I've ever bought in my life. Anything recognizable is credited to J.K. Rowling anything unrecognizable can be credited to me, understood? Good. Now I'm going to shut-up so you can read the story!_

**Ch. 9 - Sacrifice**

Severus Snape awoke many hours later, against is own will. He would have been quite content to stay in the blissful unknown of unconsciousness but his mand had other ideas. So it was with great resistence that Snape opened his eyes, he regreted it immediately. The lights that greeted his eyes blinded him and caused his slight headache to explode into a pounding migraine. But after a couple seconds his eyes adjusted and his migraine returned to its former state as a slight headache.

"You're awake," a voice said.

Severus turned his head to see Madame Pomfrey walking over from her former position in the corner of his room.

"I can't believe I let Albus convince me to allow you to leave the hospital wing. You're gone for just over an hour and you have to be carried back here!" Pomfrey exclaimed, clearly angry.

Severus started to push himself into a sitting postition.

"Oh no you don't!" Pomfrey snapped, putting her hand on Severus' uninjured shoulder and pushing him back down, "You are staying in bed until I give permission to leave!"

"Can't I at least sit-up?" Severus argued.

"No! The only reason you can move is to go to the bathroom!"

"But -"

"No 'buts' Severus! If ou leave this bed then I'll get Dumbledore to force you back into the hospital wing, where you should be! Now be quite and don't move, I'm going to get you some food."

"Pomfrey, I'm not -"

"Silence!" And with that Madame Pomfrey strode out of the room, leaving Severus Snape in stunned silence.

For twenty minutes Madame Pomfrey left Severus Snape alone with his thoughts. He spent the entire time staring at the ceiling, trying his hardest not to think, trying his hardest to keep his mind blank. Maybe, just maybe, if he kept his mind black he wouldn't have to feel the pain that was overwhelming hih.

The door opened and in walked a tired and annoyed looking Madame Pomfrey with a tray full of food that she set down beside his bed, "Eat," she commanded.

"I'll have to sit-up to eat," Severys replied with a smug smile.

"Then sit-up!"

"But you said I wasn't allowed to sit-up."

"Don't play games with me Severus! I'm not in the mood," Pomfrey snapped back, crossing her arms and fixing Severus with a very annoying stare.

"Pomfrey, I'm not even hungry -" Severus started to protest.

"Severus Snape," Pomfrey interrupted, "I highly doubt the Death Eaters fed you when you were a prisoner and you haven't eaten since you've returned. That would put your last meal at about a month ago. And seeing as you've taken to not eating much in the last few years anyway, I'd say you're in need of a hot meal. So just eat the food!"

Madame Pomfrey sat herself down in the chair beside Severus' bed and watched him intently, "I'm not leaving until you eat that food. I know you'd just throw it away if I left, I'm not stupid."

Severus sighed, pushed himself into a sitting position, and placed the tray of food on his lap. He glared at the offensive food, just the sight of it made his stomach twist in disgust and protest.

"Staring at the food isn't going to make is disappear," Pomfrey smiled in amusement, "The sooner you eat it the sooner it will be gone."

Severus looked up and fixed his trademark glare on Pomfrey. They stared at each other for a few silent and tense minutes before Severus dropped his gaze and returned to staring at his food, Pomfrey had won the silent battle. He picked up the fork and attempted to eat the food, he almost threw-up the first mouthful. A few minutes later he had managed to eat half of the food on the tray before he felt his stomach lurch and twist around inside of him. Severus dropped the fork with a resounding 'clang' as metal hit metal and stared at his shaking hands. He closed his eyes and willed the food to stay in his stomach and not take a return trip up his throat, to no avail. He choked, putting his hands over his mouth in a vain attempt to stop the food from coming up. Pomfrey realised what was happening and quickly moved the tray of food and conjured up a small bowl that she held underneath Severus' mouth. He could taste the bile and could no longer hold the food down any more.

A few minutes later the coughing stopped, the shaking subsided, and the bowl was full of chewed-up, slightly digested food. Madame Pomfrey removed the bowl, set it on the table beside the bed, and handed Severus a cloth which he used to wipe his mouth.

"Oh dear, oh dear," Pomfrey muttered under her breath, "I really thought you would've been able to handle the food Severus. I'm sorry, I should've started with something lighter, like soup."

"It's fine Pomfrey," Severus replied, "Next time just listen to me."

Pomfrey froze, "Wait a second, are you being nice to me?" she asked in guarded confusion.

Severus rolled his eyes, "My God Pomfrey, I'm not heartless. Or have I changed that much over the last five years?"

"Of course you're not heartless, it's just that. Well, when you became a spy again you started to act more, well, mean to put it bluntly. I'm just not use to you yet, you're back to the person you use to be when you had nothing to do with the Death Eaters or any of them. That was a long time ago you know. The students are going to be amazed when you start teaching again."

Severus yawned and felt the welcoming sense of sleep start to creep over him.

"You should go to sleep Severus," Pomfrey stated, "I'll bring you some soup later and we'll see if that stays down."

Severus nodded and layed down, falling asleep almost instantly.

Just under a week passed in which Severus spent the entire time confined to his bed. Leaving only to go to the bathroom. Even though he was still unable to eat solid foods and could barely hold down soup Madame Pomfrey decided that Severus Snape was well enough to leave his room and return to teaching. As long as he did not overexert himself and only if he promised to rest if he felt tired, woozy, or light-headed.

Albus Dumbledore decided that he would give Severus Snape the good news. So the Headmaster nodded softly on the door to Severus' room in the dungeons.

"Come in," Severus whispered, barely audible.

Dumbledore opened the door and walked in. Severus was sitting up in the bed, with quite the collection of small green books opened and covering his lap.

"I've seen you've started reading your potion records," Dumbledore said with a smile.

"I've forgotten a lot," Severus admitted, frustrated, "Yet, surprisingly enough, I remember more than I thought I would."

Dumbledore reached into his robe, eyes twinkling merryingly, and pulled out a wand that he tossed carelessly at Snape, who caught it easily.

"Is this -?"

"No, unfortunately it is not your old wand," Dumbledore interrupted, "But almost an identical copy. Ollivander does not forget any of the wands he has ever sold, so it was no trouble to get you a replacement in that regard. Though it was quite the challenge to pursuade Ollivander to return to his shop for even a few moments. He doesn't feel safe, right now he's under heavy protection, Voldemort wants him dead, with good reason too."

Severus looked over his wand for a few moments and then waved it. The books on his lap closed and stacked themselves neatly in a few piles on the table beside his bed.

"So you can do magic," Dumbledore mused, "I feared you would take longer to recover you abilites. But I will advise you not to attempt any major spells for awhile."

"And I will take that advisement very seriously," Snape replied.

"Severus," Dumbledore began, replacing his light conversational tone with a more serious one, "Madame Pomfrey has agreed to allow you out of bedrest and as you already know, the school year is almost over. I was wondering if you would wish to return to the Defense Against The Darks Arts position for the remanding two weeks or if you would rather forgo teaching until next year."

"There really is no point to begin lessons again Albus, the students have already lost over a month of lessons. And if I'm not mistaken, the fifth and seventh years are about to takentheir OWLs and NEWTs and anymore lessons would do no more than to stress the students. Also, if something were to occur I don't believe I would be adequately healed enough to remidy such a situation and I would rather not have a students death on my hands."

"Very well, I suspected so. Will you at least begin to join the school in the Great Hall during meal times? I'm quite sure that the students have been wishing to see you since your, well let's just say, interesting return."

"If you wish it, I will. Though I would rather not."

"Good. I will expect you at tomorrow's breakfast," Dumbledore smiled and left the room. Leaving Severus to his thoughts.

The thoughts that he tried to block out. The thoughts that haunted him day after day, night after night. If he kept himself busy he wouldn't have to think, if he kept himself distracted he could concetrate on something else. Not his thoughts, his thoughts tormented him, his memories destroyed him. Everyday he woke up wondering why he was still alive, why he had not been killed. He deserved death, didn't he? After all the murders he had done, after all the rescues he had made in a vain attempt to clear his name. After all the bad, and all the good, did he not, at least, deserve a silent death? Did he not deserve a peacful end to the life he had lead, to the life he had destroyed. Did he deserve this tormented existent? Living a life no longer knowing who you are. Memories make up a person, with no memories how can a person know who they are? They can't. Everyday Severus Snape awoke, wishing he never had. Every morning he looked out the window and watched the sunrise, planning how he might kill himself that day, planning on how he might end the suffering he endeared. He never followed through with the plans, he knew the consequences of his actions would be severe. He knew what he was thinking was not rational. He knew there were people in his life that would care if he committed suicide. He knew all these things yet he was still unable to completely block out the idea of death. He knew he should talk to someone about it but he couldn't bring himself too. It was a weakness in his eyes, such a drastic weakness that he would rather suffer in silence then admit it to anyone. He prefered to pretend like everything was fine, to wake up and put on his fake mask and asume his fake attitude and his fake personality. He couldn't remember if he was like this before and he didn't really care. This was his life right now, and it was a life he wished to be free of.

The next morning Severus Snape awoke to the same thoughts that he awoke to everyday. He got dressed and left his room in the dungeons. Walking through the silent corridors he was left once again with his thoughts, though today he decided that he was doing a remarkable job of blocking out his mind. He reached the Great Hall and entered through a back door to see that he was not the first teacher to arrive. Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall were in a deep, rather interesting and exciting looking conversation. There were few students in the Hall but those that were present immediately began whispering quite loudly. After about half an hour, in which Severus had somehow been dragged into a conversations about dragons with Hagrid and Professor Flitwick. He remember now why he had never enjoyed meals in the Great Hall.

Once the students had all managed to drag themselves out of bed, and into the Great Hall, Dumbledore stood up. Severus noticed, with amusement, that many of the students had looked up from last minute study sessions.

"It is with great regret," the Headmaster began, "that I have been forced to label all Defense Against The Dark Arts OWLs and NEWTs as voluntarly taken exams. Students who believe that they know enough about the subject will be allowed to take the exams but his no longer a requirement for this year because over a month of lessons had to be cancelled. However, it is with my great pleasure that I can announce the return of our Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher, Severus Snape."

With that announcement there was a great round of applause and hollering of joy, even a standing ovation. After all, Severus Snape had saved the Headmaster's life, he deserved some recognition. Severus, however, did not appreciate the recognition. He was never one to be in the spotlight, he prefered to work alone and unknown. He has never been comfortable as the center of attention for a huge group of people.

"You do not have to worry though," Dumbledore added after the cheering had dimished, "Defense Against The Dark Arts classes will not resume until next year."

With that Albus Dumbledore sat down and breakfast continued. Severus spent most of the time watching the students, trying to figure out who he remember and who he did not. It was a bad idea, it forced him to remember the fact that he had lost so much.

Days went by, Severus stayed in his dungeons for most of the time. Looking over his recordings of potions that he no longer remembered working on. Dumbledore became increasingly worried about his friend. Severus showed no signs of depression, no signs of himself. To Dumbldore the wizard was taking everything that happened too well for his likeing. No one would be able to deal with losing as much memory as Severus had without changing for the worst. The only thing was, there was nothing Dumbledore could do. It would be Severus' descision to seek help if he wanted it. The thing that scared Albus Dumbledore the most was the fact that Severus might not want help, but he needed it. But how are you to help someone that does not want help?

The answer came days later, during an evening meal. Dumbledore had recently been notified that Rufus Scrimgeour had asked for another meeting, and he had consented. He was now currently eating in silence as Professor McGonagall was allowing the Minister of Magic entry into the school grounds. What was about to happen Dumbledore had never expected.

The doors of the Great Hall opened and in walked a very determined Rufus Scrimgeour with his three Aurors and Professor McGonagall following behind. She caught Dumbledore's eyes and shrugged, she had tried to deter him but afterall, he was the Minister of Magic. If he wanted to see Dumbledore know than he he would, no questions asked.

"May I inquire to why this could not wait for the privacy of my office?" Dumbledore questioned, careful to keep his face calm.

"I cannot believe that you have not fired that man!" Rufus shouted, pointing directly at Severus Snape.

"And tell me why I would want to fire Severus Snape?"

"He is a danger to this school and to the Wizarding World! How do you not know that he isn't still working for the Death Eaters! He needs to be interrigated and his innocence proved! You cannot keep a dangerous criminal in the vicinity of so many young children who cannot protect themselves!"

"Interrigated?" Dumbledore said with a smile, "I know of your so called 'interrigations' Rufus and I will not allow such an action to be done against Severus. I know he is innocent of whatever insane crime you blame him to have partaken in this time," Dumbledore rose, a hint of anger creeping into his voice, "You cannot keep barging into this school accusing Severus Snape of breaking the law with no proof. You are abusing your power based on old information. You, Rufus Scrimgeour, seem to have trouble grasping the fact that people change. If this is the only reason that you wish to speak to me of than I sugest you leave because I am not going to let you abuse your position like this. You are no longer allowed into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry unless you have documents for an arrest."

"Let me take him now with no fuss. You know I can get arrest documents in a few minutes! That man is going to Azkaban whether you wish it or not!"

"Get the papers Rufus, because until you do this man is not a criminal and I can grant him permission to go anywhere that I want him too. And you know as well as I that I have many places he can hide, many places you won't be able to find him."

Rufus Scrimgeour stared at Albus Dumbledore for many tense minutes before turning around and stridding out of the office, followed by the Aurors and Professor McGonagall.

Dumbledore turned to Severus, "Follow me. It seems you are no longer safe here."

The Headmaster turned on his heels and walked out through a back door, Severus Snape followed in stun silence. After walking for many minutes Severus asked, "Where are we going?"

"I'm taking you to number twelve, Grimmauld Place. There you will be safe from the Ministry of Magic and the Death Eaters."

"And all my stuff?"

"Will be sent to you later."

The two of them walked in silence to the outside grounds of Hogwarts where they met Minerva McGonagall, who had jsut granted Rufus Scrimgeour and his Aurors leave.

"Take him Minerva, before Rufus returns with the documents."

Minerva nodded and grabbed Severus' arm, the two stepped over the bounds and turned quickly. Apparating to the doorstep of number twelve, Grimmauld Place.


End file.
